2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
Can I punish my child? Most often this question is asked by young parents. The topic of corporal punishment is very controversial. There are 2 categories of parents: the first ones use physical punishment, and the second ones do not. To hit on the pope or not to hit? How to punish a child if he does not obey? What are the consequences?
Key parenting styles
The history of human development identifies three main parenting styles used by parents:
- Authoritarian. The kid in this case is subjected to total control and obedience. He must necessarily fulfill all the requirements of the parent, otherwise he will be punished. There is a quick addiction to this style.
- Democratic style is characterized by the fact that the baby in such a family is given the right to his position. The purpose of this style is the formation of a harmoniously developed personality, parents put a lot of effort and time into this.
- The mixed method includes both rewards and punishments. It combines several parenting styles, which does not always lead to a positive result.
What is physical punishment?
A type of punishment whose purpose is to inflict bodilythe pain of the offender is considered to be physical. In addition to well-known methods (a slap, a strap on the buttocks), there are also punishments with a towel, slippers, a flick on the forehead, etc. All these methods have one goal: to show their superiority over the child, to create a painful effect, to prove their case.
Main reasons for physical punishment of children
Most modern mothers and fathers, punishing their children, believe that it is their parental duty. But there are several key reasons for this:
- Heredity. In most cases, parents take out their anger on the child based on their childhood and past. They no longer imagine that they can be brought up differently.
- Ignorance of parents in educational processes. This means that the punishment is carried out because the parents do not know other methods.
- A quick way to solve a problem. No need to spend a lot of time on explanations and teachings, it's easier to hit, rather than solve the issue verbally.
- Failures against the backdrop of their own failures. Very often, children are hostages of parental failures. Uncertainty about the future, interpersonal conflicts, inner feelings - all this can affect the child.
Why don't kids listen?
We all know that there are no perfect and obedient children. In psychology, there are several reasons for child disobedience:
- self-doubt;
- gaps in education;
- a way to draw attention to yourself;
- commitment tocontradictions;
- a way to assert oneself;
- many demands on the child.
Most of children's whims and cases of disobedience are due to the fact that the child grows up, feels like a unit on his own, and parents still think that he is still a baby. The kid does not obey if mom and dad do not pay attention to him. This is a very efficient method. If you don’t devote enough time to your child, then he may become offended, and then he can do everything not the way you want, but as he sees fit.
Your heir may feel insecure in case of increased irritability of parents and frequent pulling on clothes. The absence of a system in the upbringing of children is observed when a large number of people take part in this process - father and mother, grandparents, uncles and aunts. Each of the educators has his own method, it may differ from the methods of other members of the family. For some, the behavior of the crumbs is the norm, for others it is unacceptable, and then the baby does not know how to behave correctly.
Parents who use an authoritarian parenting style have many demands on their child, sometimes not corresponding to their development and age. They put their opinion above all else, but the opinion of the child is not taken into account, they are only required from him. If he does not follow the instructions, then he is punished. It is very difficult for a child to develop in such an environment.
Impact of corporal punishment on a child
Physical and psychological punishment of childrenprohibited by law, but many parents practice this method, considering it the most effective. Adults often cannot contain their anger, it is easier for them to give a belt on the pope than to explain in an accessible language to a child that he is wrong. If you use such a method of education as corporal punishment, then expect the consequences. Often, a little man develops fear, which can subsequently greatly affect his future life.
If a child is afraid of a loved one, then this in the future may affect his interpersonal relationships, adaptation in society, at work. Parents should know that it is impossible to beat on the priest, humiliate, shout at their heir, because he can grow up insecure, without aspirations in life. He will think that whoever has the power is right.
Physical Consequences of Corporal Punishment
Very often, corporal punishment results in physical injury to your child. This is due to the fact that many parents do not calculate their strength when punishing children. There is an addiction to slaps on the buttocks, especially if they are applied every day. This leads to the fact that the child's behavior does not change, and the strength of bodily influences increases. The result is severe bodily injury.
Without self-control, a parent is capable of inflicting trauma on a child that is incompatible with his life. And then the punishment of children will lead to disastrous consequences. Cuffs and slaps on the back of the head lead to the fact that the baby can hit a sharp corner or other objects in the house.
Physical consequences can manifest as enuresis, various tics, encopresis, etc. Don't hit the kids, be smart! After all, the child is several times smaller than you.
Psychological effects of corporal punishment
- Lower self-esteem. The child will be guided in life by the principle: whoever has the power is right.
- Influence on the child's psyche, developmental delay is possible.
- Lack of concentration in lessons, games.
- Projecting the same behavior onto your own children.
- Most physically abused children become abusers in the future.
- The child ceases to live in reality, not solving the problems that have arisen, not studying.
- There are always feelings of fear and a desire for revenge.
- Punishment and humiliation leads to loneliness, the child feels alienated, useless.
- There is a separation from parents, relationships deteriorate. If violence is used in the family, then there will be no points of contact.
Psychological consequences are also frequent anxiety, confusion, fear, increased anxiety. Appetite may worsen, the child may not sleep well, hyperactivity may increase.
An alternative to corporal punishment, or how to punish a child
The manifestation of weakness, the lack of certain pedagogical knowledge and skills of parents leads to physical punishment of children. How to punish a child so as not to harm him? You can't hit the asschildren, use an alternative. What you need for this:
- It is necessary to switch the child's attention to something else.
- It is necessary to captivate the little one in such an activity that he stops indulging.
- Invent new activities to encourage your baby, not the other way around. For example, you can put all the scattered toys in a box. Read him his favorite book or bedtime story.
- Kiss and hug your baby to feel your warmth and love. Spend more free time with him.
- Replace corporal punishment with more loyal methods (don't go for a walk, turn off the TV, take your tablet).
Take the pranks of your children philosophically, projecting the whole range of actions onto yourself. Try to communicate more with your children, create a trusting relationship with each other, and then the problems will become much less. Learn to deal with problems without punishment. It is important for parents to understand that children should not be hit on the bottom under any circumstances!
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