Auto-aggression in a child: causes, symptoms, diagnosis, treatment and prevention

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Sometimes children exhibit strange behavior: biting, hitting or cutting themselves, calling names and accusing, tearing out their hair - that is, they show aggression towards themselves, as if ignoring the pain experienced and the law of self-preservation. Many parents at such moments feel helpless and do not know what to do with auto-aggression in a child, how to help him and how to avoid this in the future. This is what we will try to figure out.

What is auto-aggression

Auto-aggression is called destructive actions directed by a person at himself. These can be actions of a different nature - physical and psychological, conscious and unconscious - a feature of which is self-harm. Often signs of auto-aggression are physical damage to the body. Usually, such behavior is accompanied by characteristic psychological features: low self-esteem, shyness, high sensitivity, withdrawal, a tendency to depression or mood swings.

What is auto-aggression

There are quite a few differenttypes of auto-aggression.

• A person can injure himself: biting, hitting, cutting, pinching, scratching, pulling out hair.
• He can also cause physical harm to himself through refusing to eat or, conversely, gluttony and the inability to refuse certain foods, even if they cause obvious harm.
• A person may not harm themselves directly, but provoke others to do so or put themselves in dangerous, risky situations.
• Auto-aggressive actions can be considered bad habits, such as smoking, drinking, drug addiction.
• A person may attempt suicide, demonstrate suicidal behavior.
• Auto-aggression can remain in the psychological plane: a person scolds, denigrates and slanders himself, is prone to self-accusations and self-abasement.

Symptoms of auto-aggression may vary depending on the nature of its manifestation and be more or less obvious. If the signs of bodily injury are easy enough to notice, then it can be more difficult to identify auto-aggression in self-blame or love for risky situations.

Why auto-aggression occurs

Most often, the causes of auto-aggression lie in the psychological sphere. Children absorb the atmosphere in which they are, copy the behavior of adults. When there is a difficult psychological situation in the family, punishments and shouting are accepted, and parents often show anger and irritation, the child automatically acts in accordance with this pattern. If he did something bad and is afraid of punishment, he may start beating himself.myself, because I'm sure it's right. Often in this case, the child suffers from self-doubt and tends to blame himself for what he did not do. Children are prone to self-centeredness, so he may decide that some misdeed is the reason for his mother’s or father’s bad mood, even if in reality this is not the case. Auto-aggression can also appear if the child is not punished or shouted at. The psyche of children is different, and for some, ridicule and jokes can be a strong blow. The same applies to claims and reproaches: if a child is constantly told that he is worse, dumber, slower than others and does not live up to parental expectations, then this can cause him a feeling of guilt that he cannot cope with.

An important feature of a child prone to auto-aggression is the difficulty in the social sphere. It is not easy for him to communicate with others, and in this case, hitting another is also an act of communication. Often such children are shy, withdrawn, it is difficult for them to talk about themselves and share their experiences. If a child feels angry or annoyed, he is afraid to express them directly or talk about them, so he has to splash out these negative experiences in the way he knows how - through self-mutilation. Also, such children are very sensitive, it is difficult for them to observe the suffering of another, and sometimes they can injure themselves, as if taking part of the pain of another person on themselves.

The cause of children's auto-aggression can be some kind of irritant that the child himself does notrealizes and does not understand where else to direct his discontent. It can be not only psychological, but also a physical irritant, for example, uncomfortable or too warm clothes. Auto-aggression is often present in autism. At the moment, the causes of this disease are unknown, but most likely they are not purely psychological, and it has some physiological factors. Therefore, there is a possibility that the predisposition to auto-aggression in some cases may be associated with disturbances in the functioning of the body, for example, causing constant background irritation. In addition, varying degrees of sensory sensitivity may be the cause. In the case of insufficient sensitivity, the child may hit himself to feel something, and in the case of hypersensitivity, ordinary everyday sensations are irritating, like a tickle, and make you want to do something about it.

How to avoid auto-aggression

Prevention of auto-aggression is the development of a stable psyche in a child, thanks to which he will be able to adequately respond to various events, including problems and difficulties that arise in his life. Try to create a calm, harmonious and trusting atmosphere at home in which all family members support each other. It is advisable to avoid scandals and punishments: such an experience can teach a child that anger and cruelty are the norm.

Don't forbid your child to explore the world. Do not forget that children and adults explore reality differently: children do it more directly, tasting something, breakingobjects and splashing in puddles, while you are most likely just reading about an article that interests you. It may seem like a strange idea for adults to wallow on the ground, but for a child it can be not just pampering, but, for example, an interest in various natural materials, research and training of their vestibular apparatus, or a massage necessary for their body. Try not to forbid the child to do what attracts him, just because you do not understand it. Another thing is that you can explain to him that the ground is now cold and he may catch a cold, and suggest a more acceptable alternative from your point of view - for example, not lying on the ground, but on a gymnastic mat, or playing in a pool filled with plastic balls.

Try not to criticize the child. Making mistakes is also a way to explore the world. Before a child learns to tie his shoelaces, or to wash the dishes, or to read, he will do it wrong many times, but this does not mean that he is unskilled and a failure - it means that he is learning. In order to continue despite the difficulties, he needs the faith that in the end he will be able to do it. The fear of doing something wrong in some cases can be no less harmful than the mistake itself.

A good prevention of auto-aggression can be the habit of taking care of your own body, feeling it, being able to use it. Therefore, it is desirable to accustom the child to any physical activity, but without fanaticism: sports can also be traumatic and dangerous to he alth. Develop withthe child's attention to their sensory sensations, which can be done with the help of various training games: for example, you can walk barefoot on different textured surfaces and try to guess what it is; or you can walk with an escort down the street blindfolded; or you can cook food with an unusual taste - meat with jam, for example.

How to overcome auto-aggression

Unfortunately, today there is no definite way to treat auto-aggression, like a pill that you can drink, or a clear plan of action that must be followed for guaranteed success. This is a complex issue, and each parent has to act according to the situation and often intuitively, guided by the understanding of their child and knowing what is best for him. However, of course, there are general recommendations.

First, you need to understand that it is pointless to fight auto-aggression, trying to eliminate the destructive actions themselves, but ignoring the cause of their occurrence. You can't take something out of life without giving something in return. If you simply forbid a child to do something, then he will either start doing it secretly from you, or will do something else, no less destructive. For example, a teenager who stops biting his nails will start smoking. And even if you do not prohibit self-destructive actions, but demonstrate the fear, or irritation, or disgust caused by them, this will further aggravate the psychological problems of the child. To cope with auto-aggression, parents need to remain calm and show with their whole appearance that what is happening is not a disaster, but simply a difficulty,which can be solved. In a sense, open auto-aggression also has a positive role: it will be much worse if the child begins to hate and despise himself, without showing it outwardly, because one day this will lead to a crisis for which everyone will be unprepared.

Secondly, you need to try to understand the psychological causes of auto-aggression and, if possible, work them out. Teach your child to pronounce the feelings and sensations that disturb him, translate them into words. Start with yourself - be open, tell him what is happening to you and how you feel. There is no need to refuse him the answer to the questions that interest him, because he is still small and will not understand: he will not wait until he grows up, but will come up with his own explanation. A child, especially a small one, does not understand well how the world works, what laws and rules operate in it. If he sees that mom is upset, he may decide that the reason is in him and in his bad behavior, even if in fact mom is just tired or she has trouble at work. This false sense of guilt can lead him to want to punish himself in one way or another. The child needs to be helped to become more self-confident, to make him feel loved. If he has a hobby or interest in something, help him achieve success in this business - this will give him a reason to respect himself and increase his self-esteem. Tell him about your love and show your love - hugs, kisses, attention, sympathy. Treat with sincere interest in his experiences and thoughts, do not devalue them with ridicule, criticism and even assurances,that it's really not that scary.

Thirdly, you need to switch the child's actions from a destructive channel to a constructive one, that is, teach him to express his aggression in a different way. Physical activity and sports can help with this. However, it should be borne in mind that children prone to auto-aggression are often timid and indecisive, so it may be difficult for them to participate in games in which there is a competitive moment. Classes with specialists working at the intersection of psychology and bodily practices can be very effective, and it will also be useful for parents to participate. An effective treatment for auto-aggression (especially for young children) can be tactile games. For example, try to hug the child tightly and not let go, saying “I won’t let it in, I won’t let it in, I won’t let it in,” or just squeeze it more often. You can try to play role-playing games in which he will be a predator, and you are a victim, or vice versa. Or play that you are wild animals growling at each other - use stories in games that will help the child express his aggression. But do not forget that it should be interesting and fun for him to play, if you feel that he has become scared and unpleasant, stop playing. Another possible way to constructively express aggression would be to engage in creative activities such as singing, dancing, freehand drawing, modeling with plasticine or clay, writing poetry or stories.

Auto-aggression in babies

In different years, auto-aggression can have different features, although, of course, the division of children by year is rather arbitrary:these groups flow smoothly into each other, and early behaviors may persist with age.

Kids act impulsively. At this age, a child may poorly distinguish himself from another person and from the world around him: he beats his hand because she does not obey him, or because he wants to hit his mother, but she is not around. Also, he can get used to punishments for granted, and begin to punish himself. For a small child, sensory sensations, hugs, especially maternal ones, are very important. The best way to stop an attack of auto-aggression in a baby is to hug him tightly but affectionately and hold him in your arms for some time.

Auto-aggression in preschoolers

At this age, children are actively exploring the world around them and their own bodies, and may hurt themselves out of curiosity to see what happens. In this case, you need to teach them to show curiosity in a less dangerous way, talk about scientific research and about the rules for conducting. The emotions of other people play a big role for preschoolers, and they may mistakenly consider themselves the cause of them, blame themselves for the irritated mood of mom or dad and punish them for it. From about the age of three or four, children learn to cheat and pretend, and auto-aggression in a preschool child may be an attempt to attract attention. But this does not mean that it should be ignored: such things mean some kind of psychological problems that need to be worked on. For preschoolers, games are an effective way to deal with auto-aggression, it is also important to teach them to speak openlyabout their experiences.

Auto-aggression in younger students

When a child goes to school, he faces new challenges. His daily routine and the nature of the mental load change, he has to adapt to a new social environment. For the child's psyche, this is a stress that can be difficult for someone to cope with. If learning is difficult for a child, his self-esteem often decreases. Perhaps he feels that he did not live up to the expectations of his parents, compares himself with other students or his brothers and sisters - not in his favor. In this case, he may resort to self-destructive actions because he believes he deserves them. Auto-aggression in a child of this age can be sabotage: the child does not talk about his difficulties, but simply tries to get sick so as not to go to school. It can also be an attempt to manipulate parents, get more attention and care from them.

Auto-aggression in teenagers

In a grown child, auto-aggression is complicated by psychological difficulties inherent in the transition period. When trying to help them, teenagers may deny that they are showing auto-aggression, or insist that they have the right to decide for themselves how to live, or to do something defiantly, to spite their parents. They have already matured in many ways and resist attempts by adults to change their habits and beliefs. Transitional age is the time when a person learns to truly take responsibility for his life, make decisions, make decisions.or other choice. No matter how painful it is for parents to realize this, they will not be able to protect him from all mistakes. But if a teenager has trust and respect for them, they can teach him to avoid fatal mistakes, the consequences of which can no longer be changed. However, if before this relationship between the child and parents was not distinguished by warmth and trust, then it can be a difficult task to establish them now. At this age, children are especially intolerant of hypocrisy. If adults try to “treat auto-aggression” in a teenager, but at the same time they themselves are prone to such actions (for example, they have bad habits), then this will not only not lead to the desired result, but may also make him disappointed in the authority of adults in general.

To help a teenager with auto-aggression, try to appeal to his mind. Openly share with him your feelings about his behavior, but acknowledge his right to decide how he should deal with his difficulties - this will give him the opportunity to feel responsible for his choice. However, please note that his life experience is still objectively small, and if he wants to act reasonably, then it would be useful for him to take into account the advice of more knowledgeable people - perhaps not his parents, but some person authoritative for him, a specialist, a psychologist.

Danger of auto-aggression

Don't ignore if your child is self-harming or showing signs of self-destructive behavior. Even if it looks innocent now, it can become a habit and become a serious problem in the future. The consequences of auto-aggression can be physical injuries andinjuries that disrupt the normal functioning of the body or lead to a loss of aesthetic appeal. Even if you simply stop committing self-destructive actions without solving the psychological problems that caused them, then psychosomatic diseases may appear in the future. In addition, the very life of a person who wants to harm himself can hardly be called happy.

But there is no need to panic either. Autoaggression is a litmus test showing what is happening in the human psyche. The problem is obvious, and it can be solved at any age, if the person himself recognizes it and wants to solve it.