Spoiled children: the right parenting

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

The appearance of children is a joy for every family. Love for a child is a prerequisite for family happiness and a full-fledged upbringing of a child. But sometimes parents spoil their child unnecessarily with gifts, attention and indulgence of his whims. Spoiled children become a real headache not only for parents, but for society as a whole. Selfishness forms a child's disrespectful attitude towards people, indifference to the needs of others. Love, attention and affection are good, but how to understand where to stop so as not to get a spoiled teenager in the future? There are many parenting mistakes.

Bribery

Parents stimulate their child's actions with various material gifts. For example: "I'll buy you a new computer if you get all fives." This is a good way for the child to start doing important things. But, on the other hand, this method cannot be used constantly. Children soak up the secrets of manipulation like sponges and in the future may say: “I won’t do anything until you buy metelephone". Usually in such situations there are spoiled children of we althy parents who pay increased attention to material status and worry that their child will be deprived compared to their peers. For mom and dad, it is important to demonstrate material security, high appreciation of the family by society. Children who are spoiled by expensive gifts do not appreciate their value and the work of their parents, they consider it a duty.

Or vice versa, parents work all day, and the child is left to himself. Parental love is replaced by gifts. Mom and dad cannot give children due attention, caress them and talk heart to heart. Education is limited to material purchases, which, of course, cannot replace the necessary family closeness for the baby. These children grow up to be cold, unloved, but also gift-spoiled individuals who are hard to please.

Indulgence

One has only to start crying - and the desired is presented on a silver platter. Moms don't want to waste their nerves in the store when the baby falls to the floor and sobs, wanting chocolate or a new toy. Parents are embarrassed under prying eyes and buy whatever their capricious wants, if only this nightmare would end. The child in this situation is a manipulator who perfectly understands the situation and uses it to achieve his goals.

Excessive kindness

"He's small" - a phrase familiar to everyone. So what if he broke a vase, yelled at his older sister and took the toy from the girl in the sandbox, helittle one will understand when he grows up. Hypertrophied love for your child develops into the creation of an absolute manipulator for parents. There is room for whims, tantrums and command of all family members. The absence of comments and rules forms selfishness and permissiveness. The only child in the family is a classic example of this mistake. Parents adore the kid and bring to life absolutely all his desires, without punishing for pranks.

On the same level

Friendly communication with a child is very good. This creates a sense of trust, a close relationship with the parent. But, despite this, children sometimes begin to educate their parents, speak in a raised voice, without feeling authority. From time to time it is worth reminding the child that mom and dad are, first of all, older family members who must be respected.

Spoiled children. Signs

• Systematic tantrums at home and in public places. Refusal to buy what you want is the most common reason.
• Dissatisfaction with everything from food to new toys. These children get bored quickly and demand new activities or things from other children.
• Refusing to comply with requests or rules set by parents or other older family members, such as not wanting to put away their belongings or toys.
• Selfishness. Disrespect for others, inability to share.
• Offering good behavior in exchange for what you want.
• Lack of understanding of the word "can't".

Whoguilty?

Spoiled children are the result of improper upbringing. Love for a child should be expressed in helping to develop his character and habits, and not in buying the desired dolls or cars. Almost all children who grow up in large families do not receive expensive gifts. However, parents instill in them love for loved ones, the need to help the family. Each gift for them is a value and joy, and not an everyday occurrence. Such children respect the work of their parents, and do not manipulate them. It is useful for a child to know the limits in behavior, adequately respond to life's difficulties and try to cope on their own, without hiding behind their mother's skirt.

Grandparents

The older generation is called to love and pamper their grandchildren. It's good if they live separately and indulge from time to time, but sometimes parents live with you and do not consider you the main educators. Huge love also develops into indulgence in whims and complete submission to the little egoist. Children spoiled by their grandmothers learn to manipulate adults and understand that if they cannot get what they want from their parents, then grandparents will certainly make their dreams come true. Grandmother will give a forbidden chocolate candy, buy a new doll. It is important to discuss the subtleties of education with the older generation, to create compromises. Children raised in such overprotectiveness grow up selfish and do not appreciate the attention and work that the family has invested in them.

How not to spoil a child and bring up a personality in him?

• Telling children "no" can andneed. Thus, concepts such as life rules, feelings and needs of other people are laid. When denying a child something, be sure to justify your action. If mom has money and a desire to buy some kind of gift, then there is nothing wrong with buying a toy in a store. If the family does not have a sufficient budget, then it is worth explaining this to your child. Knowing the situation, he will appreciate surprises and selectively choose the things he needs.
• Mother and baby should spend enough time together, play and communicate. Girls and boys should be taught to do household chores and help elders. Having learned what labor is, children will treat their parents with respect and value their personal belongings. Discipline and diligence are brought up from childhood. Ask your child to clean the apartment, wash the dishes, etc.
• Compassion for others and generosity should also be taught from an early age. It is not in vain that in sandboxes, mothers make kids share their buckets and shovels, because this is one of the main steps to raising a kind person. Greed is one of the resulting spoiledness.
• It is worth delineating the boundaries of what is permitted and strictly following them. If a child notices a gap in the rules, he will definitely use it for his manipulations.

The right way

• Now, if something needs to be pampered, then, of course, emotions. Mother and child have a great energy connection. Caress and attention should replace material gifts. From the cradle, babies need the tactile sensations of love. kiss, hugand you can and should feel sorry for the child! Of course, you need to know the measure and look at the age. Older children need support and acceptance for who they are. Pamper your children the right way - and bring up good qualities in them!
• The child must understand the motives of prohibitions and rewards. Parents are obliged to talk and explain to their child what is good and what is bad. If a child deserves a gift for his good behavior, then there is nothing wrong with giving him a surprise. Parents should give a gift from the heart, for truly deserved deeds. In this way, children will learn to appreciate things that will be real surprises, not ordinary purchases.

What to do?

Not all parents can take the right educational measures the first time, and the obedient one is replaced by a spoiled child. What should parents do in such a situation?

When the wrong behavior of children is evident, it is worth reconsidering the rules of upbringing, as well as your own behavior. Children, like a sponge, absorb the character traits of their parents, and also form their character based on the family situation. Patience and a few rules will help correct mistakes in education.

• A strict daily routine will help the child to systematize his behavior and learn to follow the rules. Sleeping, eating, and entertaining at the same time is the right start for fixing a spoiled brat.
• Spoiled kids need discipline. Help around the house is a must. Assign a special task to the child, which he must strictly perform, for example, wipedust and water the flowers. So he will learn to appreciate the work of other people, respect the elders.
• Replace computer games or watching TV with interesting mugs. Swimming, modeling or music will give you a new hobby, teach you how to be systematic, and your peers will not pay attention to his whims.
• It is necessary to talk, to praise the child for his achievements. Children are in dire need of recognition from adults. Bad behavior should not be discussed in a raised voice, but during a confidential conversation. So the child will understand that you love him, but are unhappy with his actions.
• He althy eating will help you feel alert, improve your child's he alth and mood.

Raising a baby

“Do not carry in your arms, do not sleep with the newborn, otherwise you will spoil it,” advice to young mothers is given by all and sundry. The baby needs the support and care of parents. Raising a child up to a year is a period of maternal affection, guardianship and helping the newborn get used to the realities of life. This is impossible to spoil, it was invented by Mother Nature. Babies cannot manipulate, they cry in order to inform their mother about hunger, colic, cutting teeth. The baby needs through touch and tenderness to form a benevolent attitude towards the world around him. Raising a child up to a year should initially be a stream of love and attention.

You can and should spoil

Childhood is a wonderful time, in which there should be warmth, affection and happy emotions. Parents are their children's guides, their mentors and guardian angels. From an early age, they are obliged to give the kids their love and protect them from negative situations. Strict fulfillment of the requests of the little manipulator will not replace parental care for him, but will only spoil him. Pamper your child with warmth, family attention and valuable gifts on important days for him. Surprises should remain surprises, not mundane purchases. The upbringing of spiritual qualities and independence is the main value that parents can give.