How to raise a girl at different ages: tips and tricks for parents

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Russian proverb says: "Teach a child while it lies across the bench." The saying is quite ancient, but what about raising children in the modern world? Does pedagogy refute this folk wisdom or confirm it, and are there gender differences in the formation and education of children? Various opinions are expressed - from necessarily separate education of both sexes to the creation of Spartan conditions.

Many parents wonder:

• how to properly raise a girl, revealing all her talents and aspirations;
• is it possible to protect her from unwanted environmental influences;
• is it possible to help the self-realization of the child.

Adults often find themselves in a situation of choosing the “lesser evil”, but this is how the situation looks from their point of view. How to raise a girl, each parent decides in his own way, butthere are general patterns and laws that it is desirable to know about and take them into account in your pedagogical strategy.

Differences in raising boys and girls

In the modern theory of psychology (both foreign and domestic) there are a lot of conflicting opinions on how to educate a girl and a boy. As the practice of psychotherapists and child psychologists shows, “it was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines.”

In order to draw the attention of emancipated women to the organic differences between the sexes (take at least the work of the same hypothalamus), all kinds of theories were developed for the formation of real representatives of both sexes, which prescribed how to properly raise a girl and a boy. It should be noted that the grounds for fundamental differences were sometimes the most unexpected, rather contradictory, and it is better not to mention the scientific nature of such an approach modestly.

Education and upbringing of representatives of different sexes in the history of mankind has always been carried out taking into account the physiological and psychological characteristics of the younger generation. Evidence of this can be found in documents from different eras, literature, works of art.

Historical analysis will reveal a group of qualities that at all times the ancestors wanted to see in their heirs. For men, this is endurance, good he alth, wisdom, intelligence, education, responsibility, caring for the family and their family. In times of protracted wars, good warriors were valued first of all. For women, this is meekness, politeness, kindness, sophistication, education, the ability to take care of others,creating a cozy and warm atmosphere in the house. With the development of technological progress, people's living standards and the set of desirable personality traits of a modern person have changed.

A girl well brought up by her parents combines the qualities of a hearth keeper, a professional in any field of activity with an active life position. On what factors does the result of the efforts of parents depend? After all, adults do not always manage to get the planned result.

Who is raising a girl

Contrary to the opinion that at different periods of a child's life, mom and dad take turns raising a child, practice proves the joint involvement of both parents (as well as the closest significant adults) throughout the entire process of growing up. Bring up only actions, not words. It is especially important for all adults to avoid deception and ambiguity in the interpretation of statements in front of children. They feel on a subconscious level deceit and duplicity, and act in such situations according to the conclusions made.

The answer to the question of how to raise a girl child is simple. If parents want to see the baby neat, cheerful and agile, you should set such an example yourself. If you want to instill a respectful attitude towards men, the mother must daily “broadcast” such emotions towards the father. If the phrase “You must …” sounds with a list of virtues, but in real life the girl does not observe these qualities in close adults, then the result of such upbringing will always be unambiguous - the crippled psyche of the child andfrayed nerves of parents.

There is an opinion that children are the mirror of the family. In fact, in the early period of a child's development, imitation prevails. The kid repeats and copies the sounds, movements, facial expressions of people, the intonation of the conversation of significant adults.

If the family lives separately from close relatives, then parents and people caring for the child become role models. How to raise a girl's child if she does not attend kindergarten? In this case, one should not lose sight of such an important component of the harmonious development of the baby as communication with peers.

If up to 2-3 years old children play next to each other, then in the future, feeling the need for communication, they begin to play together. The process of interaction does not improve immediately, since children learn in different ways to comply with established rules, empathic and respectful perception of a partner, and independently smooth out emerging conflict situations. A joint game is a kind of "kitchen" in which an attempt is made to use by a preschooler forms of behavior that are daily observed in parents and the immediate environment. There is a "grinding" and adjustment of parental behavior models to life situations and the gradual development of their own line of action.

Stages of upbringing

The possibilities for the formation of certain abilities and skills directly depend on the development of the child's body in general and specific systems (musculoskeletal, auditory, visual, etc.) in particular. There are generally recognized and scientifically substantiated stages of developmentperson. Some experts adhere to the author's classifications (D. B. Elkonin, J. Korchak, A. V. Zaporozhets, J. Piaget, L. S. Vygotsky, E. Erickson), taking into account which the general one is built.

From birth to adolescence, a child goes through the following stages of development:

1. All babies under ten days old are considered newborns.
2. Child development during the first year of life is referred to as infancy.
3. The life of a baby after a year to three years is early childhood.
4. Three years to six/seven years is preschool.
5. Primary school age coincides with the passage of primary school (grades 1-4) and lasts from six to ten years.
6. The next stage - adolescence - takes a period from ten to fourteen years.
7. Early adolescence begins at age 14 and lasts until around age seventeen.

How to educate a girl, knowing the age characteristics of personality formation? It should always be remembered that a harmoniously developed baby is not a child prodigy deprived of childhood for the sake of "getting a preschooler in early childhood." Deliberate advances in developmental milestones affect both adults and children.

Each age has a leading activity - one that helps the child develop in this particular period of time. If you do not play with a preschooler, but teach him using school methods, then there will be an aversion to this type of activity, an unwillingness to see a teacher and attend kindergarten, as well as a violation of the personality structure of a preschooler. Therefore, no matter howI wanted to “train” a three-year-old kid with the help of lessons, the child’s psyche is sensitive to the game, and you should take advantage of all the developmental opportunities of this type of activity.

Variety, richness of images, vivid emotional impressions that games are filled with help develop perception, thinking, imagination and memory.

The role of an adult in deciding how to raise a girl is constantly changing: if during the neonatal period the parent mainly satisfies the physiological needs of the baby, then, starting from infancy, he already tries on the role of a role model in the manifestation of emotions, intonational expressiveness of speech. In the period of early and preschool age, representatives of the older generation become a model in the use of objects of the surrounding space (in the kitchen, in the living room, in the garage, etc.), as well as in the "broadcasting" of social norms of behavior and speech, knowledge.

In the future, an adult is considered by a child as a model of principles and rules worthy of doing any work, etc. Therefore, it does not matter who brings up, the main question is how, by what personal example. A girl raised by her grandmother, for whom the future of her granddaughter is not an empty phrase, has the same chances of success as other children. Reasonable upbringing of children is always the starting point for the self-education of any adult (by teaching - we learn).

Newborn and infancy

The first year of a child's life is the most responsible for parents, as it is the stage of adaptation of the babyto the surrounding space and its gradual development (movement on all fours, legs). How to raise a girl in a year and what to look for? If we remember that gender differences for a child begin to play some role only from the age of three, then the far-fetched difference in the upbringing of children of both sexes at this time becomes obvious.

First of all, close attention is paid to the formation and development of perception (hearing, vision, smell, kinesthetics), musculoskeletal system (correct formation of the skeleton, sufficient mobility of the child), immunity. Many parents make the biggest mistake in raising a child up to two years old, shifting the baby's upright posture to an earlier date (with the help of a walker). In some families, this procedure is repeated from generation to generation and does not cause any surprise.

Actually skipping the active crawl phase, which is fraught with consequences:

• violation of posture at preschool, school or other age (it all depends on muscle development);
• impaired coordination of movements due to insufficient training in early childhood;
• problems with the development of three-dimensional space, which affects physical activity in elementary school, the development of subjects such as mathematics, languages, drawing;
• insufficient stimulation of the inner ear from 1 month to 3 years (caused by a constant change in body position: lying - sitting - standing, etc.), which affects the development of attention, perception, memory and thinking.

Walkers were invented asan adaptive tool for children with cerebral palsy, and they are contraindicated for a he althy child. No matter how much adults would like to see their girl running on her feet, and not on all fours, it is absolutely impossible to shift this activity to an earlier date.

Important "acquisitions" of a one-year-old child are babbling syllables and first words, the appearance of the first teeth, which cause a lot of discomfort not only to the baby, weaning the child from diapers (with skillful conduct, the procedure is painless, although some parents cannot cope with it and by the age of three).

The full list of skills will take several pages, but the importance of the manifestation of each of them in the standard time is undeniable. In order not to lose sight of anything, diaries of the development of the child are created for different age periods. Their use helps parents in the formation of a harmoniously developed personality of the child, and sometimes even becomes the cause of the detection of serious diseases. They should not be neglected.

Early childhood

In the period from one to three years, children actively explore the surrounding space due to their mobility. Manipulative activity is gradually replaced by a role-playing game. Compliance with hygiene procedures, self-service, careful attitude to objects develop at this age. Such activities provide greater independence for the baby in the future and are developing for both girls and boys.

The opinion that a girl should be brought up as a woman almost frombirth itself is erroneous. Adhering to this principle in raising crumbs, you can do more harm than good. The child will think about his gender only after the beginning of awareness of his "I". And this period begins at 3-4 years. How to raise a girl of 3 years old, taking into account age-related developmental characteristics?

There are some general rules:

1. Early childhood is characterized by active imitation. All the actions of the parents are copied: housework, gait, emotional speech, etc. Therefore, it's time to introduce the girl to household chores. She can help her mom or do things on her own. Of course, the motor skills of a three-year-old baby are not developed in the same way as that of a mother, so the main goal of the child's activity is to master the sequence of stages. For example, take water into a container, moisten a napkin and unscrew it well, then wash the floor or wipe the dust on the shelves, pour out the water after cleaning, hang the napkin to dry, etc.
2. Adults should talk to children about topics that interest them. By the age of three, all the guys turn into "why" - this is the most fruitful period for learning about the world. By personal example, parents teach children to find the necessary information, teach them to check its reliability (if this moment is not important for adults, children will also miss it). On the example of mom and dad, kids learn to build statements on a particular topic. During this period, it is very important to patiently find answers together with the child to all the questions that interest him. The thirst for knowledge, timely quenched in thisperiod, will be reborn into cognitive interest at the next stages of development, and without it, the child’s learning turns into “coaching”.
3. The so-called "crisis of three years" is associated with the formation of "I-image". The scientifically sound name would still be "transitional period at the age of three years." Its essence lies in the reassessment of one's social significance. Therefore, the more harmonious and calmer the previous period of life passed, the more imperceptibly (without tricks and tantrums) the restructuring of self-perception will take place. Such an opportunity appears only when the requirements for the child are unambiguous on the part of all adults. If parents play the roles of "bad and good cop", children's tantrums and whims to manipulate adults will be commonplace.
4. Politeness, kindness of a baby are brought up only by the personal example of the older generation. It should be noted that greed is an innate human property. The ability to share with others, compassion, as well as the use of the words “thank you”, “please”, “sorry” are instilled at the age of 2-3 years with the help of daily unobtrusive practice. Naturally, if mom and dad communicate with pointing gestures, the baby will do the same.
5. Toddlers develop through organized movement and play. This should be remembered in all situations.

At the next stage of the formation of the child's personality, a division into games for boys, for girls and general games appears.

Preschoolers

The period of life of children from 4 to 6 years old is richdiscoveries and development of new activities. How to raise a 4 year old girl? As never before, the temperament and independence of the baby begins to manifest.

It is very important to help the child direct his activity "in a peaceful direction", bypassing scandals, public tricks and tantrums. Provocations from the side of the child are experienced even by the most balanced parents, since the “test of the pen” is carried out in a safe environment.

For example, having seen enough of the behavior of her peers in kindergarten (and how comfort is “bought”), a girl repeats this trick at home for her mother (throws herself on the floor, screams and knocks with her legs and arms). Since the “concert” began in the morning, the parent needed emergency measures to prevent it - the mother (calm, balanced, kind and affectionate) does the same thing, which causes great surprise to the baby. The woman then explained that she, too, could behave this way, but did not, and the answer to the question "Why?" the family finds in discussions already on the way to kindergarten. The girl will never even try to act like that again.

The transitional period of the age of three can only end safely if the child is respected by adults and taught to be independent in all areas of life.

How to raise a 5 year old girl? This is the age of transition from "why" to "dreamers", and hence some of the features of behavior. Negative manifestations include lies, excessive passion for dreams. Little experimenters try all methods of influencing adults, if it has not yet been establishedcooperation. At the first attempts at deception, you should calmly stop the child and explain the consequences. If the deception is repeated, then a “reset” of the relationship should be carried out. Perhaps the preschooler is not satisfied with the subordinate position and the too strict attitude of the parents towards him.

The main principle is cooperation in resolving the issue of how to raise a 5-year-old girl. This is an equal member of the family with their own desires and needs. In the preschool period, the social position of the child is formed: communication with peers, adults, relatives and strangers. The child "trying on" different social roles (through play).

How to raise a 6-year-old girl in preparation for school? There comes another transitional period, which can last from 6 to 7-8 years. At this stage, there is an active mastering of the elements of such activities as learning: the time of concentration of attention, the amount of memory increases. The process of thinking is gradually moving from a concrete-objective form to an abstract-logical one.

The girl, more than ever, needs the support and help of her parents. She can already do housework, keep her appearance neat, is absolutely independent in self-service, helps both older and younger relatives, and shows leadership qualities. Many children already know how to read, discovering the world of fairy tales, humorous stories, and poems. During this period, soft control by parents is very important, since self-regulation is still formed at an average level.

Juniorstudents

With admission to the first grade, learning activity is mastered and assigned, which subsequently replaces the game. How to raise a 7-year-old girl in terms of adaptation to school? In order to get comfortable in a new team, to show your best side, to achieve good results in the classroom, you need a lot of energy, quick wit, willingness to be responsible for your actions and, of course, good he alth. Parents play the role of adviser, assistant, controller, source of information. However, the "palm" in the truth of new knowledge goes to the class teacher - this must be taken into account and not try to undermine the authority of the class teacher. How to raise a 7 year old girl?

1. To teach discipline and adherence to the daily routine is the main condition for the successful development of training.
2. Encourage student progress by providing emotional support.
3. If punishment is required, it must happen. But! As practice shows, the most effective is not a corner, not a belt, not verbal humiliation, but the child’s calm reflection on his actions all alone, sitting on a chair in the room. After that, it is worth making sure that the child understands the reason for the limitation of space and draws conclusions. If this does not happen, the analytical and prognostic help of an adult is required.
4. When doing homework, especially when raising a 7-year-old girl, the use of he alth-saving technologies is required, which are based on the competent distribution of time for work and rest, motor and intellectual activity, as well as gamingmethods.

By the third grade, students successfully master educational activities.

How to raise a 9 year old girl:

1. Requirements for observing the daily routine will remain until the end of training, but the success of the child largely depends on the rational distribution of time for study and rest. This should not be neglected.
2. The authority of the teacher is supplemented by authoritative classmates, and this circumstance should be taken into account by parents. Relationships with peers begin to play a big role in a child's life.
3. During this period, classes in circles, sections, additional courses, etc. are the most fruitful. But everything should be in moderation, you should not overload the younger student.

There are few significant differences in the question of how to raise a girl for 10 years. During this period, there is a transition to the middle stage of education, and adults should stock up on patience and sensitivity. In addition, the authority of the teacher ceases to be indisputable, and the role of friends and classmates increases. Parents, thinking about how to raise girls of 10 years old, often go to extremes and seek to prohibit them as much as possible. Such activity of adults leads to a dead end. Yes, girls are becoming independent more than ever, experimenting with cosmetics, trying to emphasize their femininity. But the tactics of prohibitions, decrees and moralizing can only fray the nerves of both sides. Only respect and cooperation can establish harmony in family relationships.

Teenagers

How to raise a teenage girl? Probably the most difficult transitional period, due to the rapid physiological changes that schoolchildren do not immediately get used to. Girls look for their style in everything: clothes, demeanor, hairstyle, makeup. Mom and dad are now acting as consultants, whose opinion is asked, but act in their own way.

The main problem of a teenager is appearance. Parents are able to contribute to the safe and speedy resolution of issues related to the appearance of the student. This must be done with love and empathy. This is the only way to soften the caustic character of a teenager. It is necessary to educate a teenager girl as a keeper of the family, sharing her knowledge and skills with her, discussing the patterns of interaction between the macro- and microworld. This can raise your authority in her eyes and strengthen cooperation.

Are all parenting tips right for a particular child

Each person is as individual as a snowflake. Adults can only wish patience, sensitivity, respect for their children, perseverance in achieving their goals. Definitely, you can’t mindlessly transfer the experience of raising someone else’s children to your child. Therefore, taking into account all the transitional periods and developmental characteristics of children, you can build your own line of behavior and education.

Conclusion

If, nevertheless, problems arise in relations with a child, it is worth listening to the advice of a psychologist on how to raise a girl. Usually the problem lies in mutual misunderstanding, which is corrected only if both parties are interested. Short is the doctrine of men, but long is knowledge. However, it is precisely this that allows you to get to know yourself better through communication with others.