Sleeping with a child: pros and cons. How to teach a child to sleep alone

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Family is not only a pleasant change in the life of every person, but also a huge responsibility. First of all, it falls on the shoulders of those spouses who decide to have and raise a child, because every mistake in their actions can become irreparable.

Generally

Adults periodically return to the discussion of the topic "Sleeping with a child". Many supporters, but many opponents. Expecting the first child, all parents buy cots for babies, but subsequently they are often used for other purposes. In the first months, children sleep a lot, provided that their mother is nearby. It happens that they fall asleep well in their arms, but if after that they are put in a crib, they wake up very quickly, crying.

During patronage, doctors advise young parents on how to feed, what kind of care to provide, where to sleep for the child. They advise from the first days to accustom the child to a separate bed. Sleepless nights with babies exhaust parents both physically and psychologically. Soon, some women, waving their hand at theoretical knowledge on education, put the child to their bed. So,we analyze the topic "Sleeping with a child: pros and cons".

The argument that co-sleeping is acceptable

Babies are often applied to the chest at night, it is very convenient when sleeping together. Mom does not have to walk from her bed to the crib, feed while sitting, where there is a risk of dropping the baby by a tired woman falling asleep on the go.

1. Mom has the opportunity to sleep at night.
2. Next to the mother, the child is warm, which is important with its imperfect heat transfer. After all, cooling the body contributes to the production of the stress hormone. In addition, the child feels safe and develops normally.
3. There is no risk that the baby will suffocate, wrapped in many blankets in the cold season.
4. The newborn's breathing is regulated alongside the mother's regular breathing rhythm.
5. When a mother practices co-sleeping with her baby, breastfeeding in bed, it is noted that the baby's superficial sleep (first and second stages) prevails. It is physiological, helps to prevent respiratory arrest and sudden infant death syndrome.
6. The baby's brain grows and develops in light sleep. By promoting the separation of mother and baby, people do not use the brain's inherent capabilities for continuous development, limiting them.
7. If a child sleeps with his parents, he behaves much calmer, he cries less. If he starts tossing and turning, mom immediately reacts and calms. When organizing a child’s sleep in a separate bed, in a separate room, she cannot quicklyreact to crying, the level of the stress hormone rises in the baby, he cannot calm down for a long time.
8. Mom is less worried if the baby sleeps nearby.

What do the opponents of co-sleeping claim?

1. The child is at risk of crushing. It's impossible. If a mother does not drink alcohol, sleeping pills, she, being in a state of sleep, reacts to the slightest movement of her child.
2. Arguments about the difficult intimate life of parents. This issue can be resolved.
3. Child gets too attached to mom. Attachment to parents will always be, but the psychological consequences of sleeping a child separately can be avoided.

More people are talking about the benefits of sharing sleep with your baby. But there are cases when it is not necessary to do this:

1. When parents use alcohol, drugs, sleeping pills, while smoking.
2. If parents have contagious diseases.

Parents decide which sleep they choose. You can also choose a compromise: put baby cribs side by side.

About cribs

If you cannot decide which crib to buy, then the most rational solution at first will be to use a stroller with a detachable cradle. Having rocked a crumb in it, you move it to the right place without shifting. It is possible to move along with the stroller, for example, to the parents' bed. For up to three months, she can replace your crib. We do not recommend buying all kinds of cradles, cradles with canopies,lace, because they are not only beautiful, but also dangerous to use, especially when the baby starts to sit up.

What cribs for children from one year can be purchased? You can buy a transformer model that can be attached to the edge of your bed. Such designs are more expensive, but very convenient to use when sleeping together. Manufacturers also offer playpens with music, rotating mobiles, a night light, and a changing board. They have a minus: often the mattress does not meet orthopedic requirements. And high cost. There is also a cocoon bed, but this is irrational, it is used only up to four months. While theorists are discussing, businessmen are offering, mothers are looking for answers and solutions.

A side crib would still be a good compromise. The child constantly feels his mother next to him, so he sleeps better. When the baby is worried at night, a woman only needs to reach out to calm him down. You can feed your baby without getting up. At the same time, he sleeps, as it were, separately, gradually brought to sleep, separate from his parents. When choosing such a crib, it must be taken into account that it must be securely attached to the parent's bed, adjustable in height, and be static. The baby can sleep in it up to two years.

Children's dream

Newborn babies sleep a lot, for 19-20 hours. From 1 month, sleep becomes shorter, from 6 months - even shorter. By one year, the child sleeps twice during the day. Sleep is 13-14 hours. How to put a baby to sleep in a year? For night sleep - no later than 21 hours, during the day gradually transfer to a one-time dream. During the transition tosome days the child can sleep twice a day, some - 1 time, depending on how you feel. Try at this time to avoid falling asleep with a bottle, with a sweet drink. Don't go to war with bedtime, come up with rituals for the process of bedtime, such as quiet play with toys, dim lights in the room, bathing before bed, light massage, lullaby for babies - an ancient sleeping pill.

Since ancient times, these songs have been endowed with mystical properties. People believed that every mother should come up with a unique melody for the child, protective words. Times have changed, but lullabies continue to live, help to calm the child, in some ways even influence his upbringing. Hyperactivity, crying, capriciousness, aggression on the part of the baby indicate that he is tired and wants to sleep, respond to this correctly. You can take it in your hands. In this situation, a lullaby for babies performed by mom will be very useful - the child will gradually calm down and go to sleep.

To those who are higher

Older children can read or tell bedtime stories. Gradually, this will become your child's favorite bedtime ritual. Starting from the age of two, many children listen with pleasure and repeat short bedtime stories after their parents: "Ryaba the Hen", "Turnip", "Gingerbread Man" and others. Fairy tales are very attractive to children, because it is not only text, it is like a small performance, including gestures, singing, moments of theatrical play. A fairy tale every evening is possibleto tell, interpreting events, descriptions, enriching it with new details. From this, the interest of the child does not disappear, but increases. The baby is waiting for new details, calms down and listens carefully, which contributes to a quick fall asleep.

"Resettlement" to a separate bed

The child is growing up, parents are thinking about how to sleep together with a child up to what age is acceptable. What to do after reaching this age? How to teach a child to sleep alone?

From birth to three months, children need to be constantly close to their mother, hear her heartbeats, feel the warmth of her body, they do not separate themselves from their mother. Up to 6 months, the child is completely dependent on the care of the mother. After this age, night feedings become more frequent. From birth to a year or two, breastfeeding is considered the norm, the child often continues to sleep with his parents. Once babies are weaned, they can be easily taught to sleep separately. But from two to four years old, children are tormented by night fears, for this reason they want to sleep with their mother, to see her presence, which must be taken into account when transferring to sleep separately from their parents.

Based on the experience of individual families, we can conclude that it is better to do this during the crisis of three years (at 2, 5-3 years), when the child increasingly begins to say: "I myself." At this age, the help of adults with a potty is usually no longer needed. But this does not mean that immediately after the third birthday, children should be abruptly weaned from co-sleeping. Organize this process gradually.

You can buy a crib for dolls, start laying in it with your childtoys, sing lullabies together and tell stories. Then buy a baby crib. If it is not there yet, take your child with you to the store, choose with him. At home, having assembled the crib, "place" your favorite toy in it. Start with daytime sleep in it, gradually transferring to nighttime. The child can wake up at night, cry, ask his parents, fulfill his request, let him fall asleep with you, this will gradually come to naught. Do not combine the transition process with weaning, with a painful condition, the birth of a second child, when moving to a new place of residence, during the placement in a kindergarten. Do not rush to distance the baby from you. Children grow up quickly. There will come a time when you will fondly remember the time when the little one sniffed nearby.

A little more about baby sleep

You have been transferring the child to a separate sleep for quite a long time, but the child does not sleep in his own crib. The reasons may be different, analyze the following and "try on" for yourself.

1. An ill-conceived bedtime ritual.
2. Night chill if the baby is constantly opening up. It can be advised to sew buttons and eyelets to the upper corners of the blanket, which should be fastened around the crib railings. The blanket will always be in place, no matter how the child tries to throw it off.
3. Fear. Think about what it can be connected with, eliminate the cause.
4. Hunger. Don't go to bed hungry.
5. Frequent illnesses that require increased attention from the outsideparents.
6. Unwillingness of the child to get rid of the habit of sleeping with parents. Here you need to show patience, perseverance, consistency, organizing a gradual transition.

Possible solutions to the problem

Try this:

1. To put to sleep at the strictly allotted time. Keep the regime holy.
2. Organize naps only in a crib.
3. Think of a bedtime ritual. An hour and a half before bedtime, the situation in the house should be calm, measured. For example, a walk before going to bed, dinner, quiet games, reading books, going to bed in accordance with the developed ritual. Do not scream, do not make trouble, do not explode if the child refuses to go to bed separately from you.
4. Try not to abuse motion sickness.
5. Allowing to take favorite toys to the crib, they bring a sense of security, as the child treats them as if they were living people. Allow to take as many toys to the crib as the baby wishes. You can also take your favorite books. It's okay.
6. Use a night light as children are afraid of the dark.
7. Do not place a sleeping baby in the crib. Waking up alone at night, he gets scared.
8. It is advisable to isolate the crib with a screen, curtain, put in another room. The child should have a separate sleeping area, if it is closed, this is a signal that it is time to sleep.
9. Set a rule: after completing all the rituals of going to bed, after a fairy tale and wishing good night, it is no longer possible to wander around the apartment. The child must understand thatthe requirements are serious, he will not pity his parents. Some children are afraid to fall asleep alone, they begin to ask for a drink, go to the toilet, complain that their stomach hurts, noise from the street interferes - all this is done in order to capture the attention of their parents, to begin to manipulate them. It also disturbs sleep. In such a situation, without scandal, silently bring the child to the bed. No need to swear, soothe, console, because this is what is required of parents. If you silently walk your baby to bed several times in silence, he will understand that mom and dad will not back down from their demands that it's time to sleep.

Young parents can be advised to study the book “Sleeping with a child. A Parent's Guide by James McKenna. It discusses and does not question the question of a child sleeping next to his mother. The author justifies his opinion.

At birth, due to the change of environment, the child experiences severe stress: the beat of the mother's heart has disappeared, emotional and biochemical exchange, a single physiological rhythm. All this is very scary for a newborn. The author argues that in order to avoid the consequences of such a situation, the child must always be close to his mother. Regarding the popular belief that a baby can be crushed in a dream, James gives recommendations on how to avoid this. He also draws attention to what can happen at night, when a helpless child in a separate bed is left to himself. It is the noise and shadows in the room that can frighten; midges, sitting on crumbs, and causing concern; leg caught betweenrods; a blanket that covered the head and blocked the air supply. The author claims that putting a child to bed alone at night is tantamount to a crime.

If a baby sleeps with his mother, feels the heat of her body, her smell, hears her breathing, he cries less often, he does not produce cortisol - a stress hormone, so the number of heartbeats does not increase, oxygen absorption is not reduced, due to this does not slow down the growth process. The child gets rid of constant stress, develops well, gains weight, his abilities are revealed early, at an older age he is non-conflict. In a mother with close bodily contact, breast milk is well produced. Joint sleep with parents brings father and child together, forms their mutual intimacy, love. McKenna reminds readers that people have slept with babies for centuries. And only civilization has brought many strange recommendations from the standpoint of pedagogy, often based on pseudoscientific research. The author writes in the book about the experience of raising children in the family of his parents, that Spock's newfangled recommendations were not applied there, in accordance with which many families raise their babies.

In closing

Unfortunately, intuition does not tell many parents what newborn children experience and feel. The maternal instinct, which should be trusted, often cannot break through the layers of all kinds of information, conventions, prejudices. Having been born, once in another world, the child is in a state of comfort in the arms of the mother or next to her. Left to himself, left unattended, heexperiencing the experience of dying, falling. This refers not only to co-sleeping with a child, but also to the issue of accustoming children to hands. Nature has programmed babies to sleep together with their mother, it does not depend on how the child is fed: breast milk or formula. If this need is not realized, it is waiting in the wings like a time bomb. It can appear at any age. As an example, the fear of being alone at night leads to the fact that someone gets a lot of pets and allows them to sleep with them, someone endures their failed marriage for fear of being alone in bed at night. We are not aware of this fear, it is on a subconscious level. Moms who are afraid to spoil their children by sleeping together should consider whether they want a sad fate for their child.