How to get rid of friends who take advantage of you? Why friends are needed

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Every person dreams of a true strong friendship. Someone is more lucky, and these lucky ones find their company of like-minded people, someone less - and they are in constant search of new friends. But there are also bad friends - they are so uncomfortable with them that a person feels unhappy and offended.

Today we will talk about how to get rid of friends who take advantage of you. And how to recognize them correctly in a friendly environment.

Such a different friendship

What is a friend? It depends on what kind of friendship is formed between people. There are friends from childhood with whom a person has long relationships and shared memories. There is a friendship between two adult self-sufficient people - it is based on mutual support and advice on difficult issues. Contrary to popular belief, there are often friendships between a man and a woman - without sexual overtones. Friendships are often formed through common interests and hobbies, oftencompanies are "friends" against someone, and it's not necessarily women.

Recently, virtual friendship has become increasingly important, which allows even pronounced introverts to find a soul mate.

So the question of what a friend is can be answered in different ways. It can be a friend, like-minded person, brother, almost a relative, in general, a close person.

And this classification does not affect the emotional component of the relationship, which consists not only of love and mutual sympathy, but also of jealousy.

Why friends are needed

Man is a social being, needs to communicate. And preferably in one when the interlocutor is on the same wavelength with him. That is why friends usually have similar sense of humor or assessment of this or that situation.

If a person has no friends, he feels rejected, unwanted and absolutely useless. Whereas friendly support allows you to feel self-sufficient, complete and interesting person. And we also want to be loved - not only the chosen one or the chosen one, who may one day find other halves, but also close people. And nothing gives such a feeling of reliability and self-confidence as the knowledge that in case of failure your friends will support you - morally or financially.

Bad friends

Why friends are needed, every person intuitively understands. And everyone guesses that not every person from a close circle will be your reliable and faithful comrades. So what are they, bad friends?

1. He will not help indifficult situation. Indifference to other people's problems is not uncommon, and most often you misjudged the relationship between you. It's not a friend, it's a friend. Perhaps good in all respects, but not willing to decide something for you. Treat him accordingly.
2. Doesn't keep his promise. Everyone was faced with the fact that a friend did not keep his word. If this happens repeatedly, the friend goes into the category of unreliable, and his actions cause anger and irritation.
3. Envious. This is not a friend, but a hidden enemy. He always competes with you behind the scenes, and it is important for him to be a little more successful. Envious people sometimes make friends in pairs, against the background of general envy or hatred for someone else.
4. Jealous. There is no love relationship between you, but he is a terrible owner and jealous - he can be jealous of a soulmate or other friends.
5. Intrusive. There is too much of him in your life.
6. Manipulators - a whole galaxy of comrades, "owners", "orphans", "aggressors", "good-natured" and "cunning" who will make you dance to their tune.

An ideal friendship is a relationship in which both parties experience mutual sympathy, but at the same time save time, energy and opportunities for other social contacts.

But sometimes a person begins to experience discomfort from communicating with a friend - his self-esteem drops, he feels a breakdown and a whole range of negative emotions. This means that you are in a toxic relationship and you need to get out of it. How to get rid of bad friends? To do this, they need to be recognized.

Signs of a bad friend

Here are some signs that a friend is taking advantage of you:

1. He or she always needs something from you. Often such a friend appears in your life only with another request for help. Example: a friend called to help with spring cleaning, but did not invite to barbecues, to which all her friends were invited.
2. You only spend time together if your friend has no other alternative. As soon as he (she) is left without company, calls immediately go. But the rest of the time you can't get attention.
3. A lot of gossip and jokes in your direction. If this happens behind your back, then the situation is offensive. But often such friends allow tactless and offensive jokes in a common company, regardless of your feelings.
4. Borrows money and things without return.
5. Constantly asks for free help: to babysit, borrow a car, make a transfer, pay a bill, etc.
6. Shows interest in your useful contacts and connections.
7. Speaks badly about other people in your company and acquaintances in general.

You need to stop all communication with such comrades. How to get rid of this type of friends is another matter.

Manipulative Friends

It should be understood that all people manipulate each other, pushing them to make certain decisions. But manipulative friends do it masterfully, so as not to leave a single chance for a person to adequately assess the situation. They masterfully push in the following areas:

1. "If you do this,we are no longer friends” - works even with adults and adequate people, however, the wording will become more complicated with age. The manipulator makes it clear that a person will be left alone, and the fear of loneliness is one of the strongest in a person.
2. "Who needs you but me" is selfishness in its purest form, when a friend is kept only to create a retinue.
3. “I know better”, “trust me” - having a know-it-all friend is not bad exactly until he leaves you the chance to make your own, albeit the wrong decision. Know-it-alls also like to point out their friend's stupidity.

A potential manipulator can be detected if you arrange a refusal check - try to answer at least once "no" to a request that you usually agree to without problems. A normal person will take rejection for granted, while a manipulator will bombard you with accusations, trying to put pressure on guilt.

Manipulators do not leave a person a chance to develop and grow in their own eyes, which greatly reduces self-esteem. How to get rid of friends who are dragging you down? You need to stop communicating with them, although this is often not too easy.

Poison friendship

The term "toxic friendship" is commonly understood as any companionship in which there is an emotional dependency, but at least one of the parties feels discomfort during communication. It manifests itself in different ways - a breakdown after a conversation with a friend, a feeling of insignificance after a couple of hurtful jokes, the loss of all social ties, because a frienda jealous person has not left you a second of free time, etc. There are many signs of a toxic friendship:

1. Weakness and emotional emptiness after intercourse.
2. No support at all.
3. Criticism of you and all your endeavors, aspirations and successes.
4. Rude.
5. "Toxic" friends are generally not very good people - liars, bums, dishonest, in general, individuals with a whole bunch of negative qualities.
6. Toxic friends are unreliable and won't go out of your way.
7. Relationships cause you only negative emotions: envy, irritation, anger, shame, etc.

Should I give a second chance

Before you get rid of friends of such a plan, you should understand whether it is worth giving them another chance to save your friendship. Everything is simple here - if communication does not cause negative emotions, then it is worth reducing friendship to friendly relations. Perhaps, over time, your good friend will prove that he can be a faithful and reliable comrade.

You should get rid of "toxic" friends immediately, without a shadow of doubt or regret.

How to deal with bad and annoying friends, manipulators and energy vampires

Sometimes it happens that in words a person does not say anything bad, but it is impossible to communicate with him - there is either too much of him in your life, or he drinks all your life forces like an energy vampire. How to get rid of annoying friends who seem to have offended you? You must adhere to the following rules:

1. Learn to say "no" - "no, I don't have time", "no, we can't meet", "no, I can't".
2. You should set your own communication rules, such as limiting the duration and number of phone calls. You must uphold the right to reply to a message at a time that is convenient for you, and not for someone else.
3. Don't take responsibility for another person's life - annoying manipulative friends often demand immediate attention and blame a friend for personal failures.
4. Get rid of unpleasant and painful communication. How? See item 1.
5. Don't turn yourself into a permanent comfort vest - occasionally you can, but not permanently!

Getting rid of your significant other's friend

It often happens that a person does not notice the "toxicity" of the relationship. But the unhe althy atmosphere is clearly visible from the outside, so that a husband or wife often sees bad friends in their soulmate. How to get rid of your spouse's friends?

1. We talk and explain why this relationship cannot be considered he althy. We listen to counterarguments. And again we explain.
2. You can't force a choice between love and friendship - we act smoothly and gradually.
3. Reducing the time for "friendly" meetings - arranging more romantic dates and a joint holiday just for two.
4. We are trying to offer an alternative - we invite married couples to visit, sign up a soul mate in an interest club, etc. In general, we are looking for any chance to find normalfriends.

Ways to stop communication

How to get rid of friends once and for all? There are several ways to do this:

1. Completely stop spending time with a friend. If this is not possible due to the fact that you work together or spend time in the same company, then it is worth reducing all communication to professional communication and replicas to a direct question. No intimate conversations and tete-a-tete conversations!
2. To say firmly and honestly that this friendship does not suit you and it's time to stop communicating. It's cruel, but it puts everything in its place right away.
3. Make new friends. How to get rid of envious friends, schemers and manipulators in your environment? The best way is to change the circle of friends and acquire new friends who will eventually turn into good comrades.

And don't forget that you are also a friend to someone. Be a good friend!