Earlier, there was an opinion that assault by a man occurs only in those families where there is alcoholism or drug addiction. But, as many years of practice shows, this is not at all the case. It turns out that even in the most intelligent family, a husband can pretty much beat his wife. And no one from the environment will ever guess that this is even possible. So, my husband beat me up badly. What to do?
What's the matter?
Here the most important question arises: what to do if the husband beats? Ultimately, the decision is up to the wife, because the further this assault goes, the faster male tyranny will develop. How to deal with it? There is no single answer to this question; each case can be considered unique in its essence. This is because each situation has its own reasons, which, in turn, cannot be an excuse for the pathology when the strong acts violently against the weak. Let's analyze the main reasons that psychologists identify. Whatto do if the husband was beaten to bruises? Run as fast as you can.
Of course, it is impossible to say with certainty that there is a specific number of reasons. These points are only conditional, the problem may be completely different. However, psychologists first of all advise paying attention to such factors:
- A man follows the example of his own parents, who had an unhe althy relationship. Perhaps dad did not hesitate to use brute force in relation to mom. And if a child has seen this since childhood, then this could well become the norm for him.
- The use of physical force is a self-affirmation for your man. Often this pattern of behavior is inherent in male losers. If your chosen one cannot stand up for himself in conflicts with his peers or encounters difficulties at work, then anger accumulates over time, which is vented on your spouse. Everything is simple here - the strongest suppresses the weakest.
- Of course, the most common and most common reason cannot be ignored - assault while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. It often happens that a drunk person becomes completely uncontrollable, all prohibitions in behavior are removed and everything that your heart desires begins to happen. In a sober state, your spouse may begin to throw himself at your feet, ask for forgiveness and tearfully promise that this will not happen again. Only this is a vicious circle, and this behavior will continue indefinitely.
- It is possible thatWomen are also to blame. You can also meet such young ladies who themselves openly provoke their spouses. Eternal insults, reproaches for any reason, bullying and so on. Sometimes it happens that women themselves provoke a fight and this is not a joke at all.
- The last most common reason is female softness and spinelessness. Such behavior can also be considered to some extent a provocation. Especially if your spouse is a fighter by nature, he will not look for a good reason to engage in assault. Every little thing, even everyday, causes real anger. And only the humility of the wife seems to add fuel to the fire, and then fists are used.
This list of reasons is far from exhaustive, but one thing is clear: the role of a victim, a sense of duty towards a spouse or father, which is in most cases false, is not the best model of behavior. A woman should always be aware that by doing so she endangers not only herself, but also her children, whether they are already present or future. Husband beat up - what to do? It would be legally correct to immediately write a statement to the police.
Typology of domestic tyrants
What to do if the husband beats? Analyze the situation. Psychologists divide lovers of fist-waving at home into two types:
- "Pitbull" - this type of men any quarrel, even the smallest one, ends up in a fight. He will apologize for every assault, but the further it goes, the more familiar scandals will become,which will end with the waving of fists. At first, it can be single blows, but it can end with a truly brutal beating of the wife. Over time, the home tyrant gets a taste, you can’t explain or prove anything to him. Aggression becomes the second "I". Psychologists comment on the current situation as follows: a man simply begins to depend on his wife, whom he beats. He muffles his guilt with new brawls.
- "Cobra" is probably the most dangerous type, because they do not need any reason to start swinging their fists. These are real domestic sadists who have mental problems and at the same time cannot explain in any way what causes these outbursts of aggression. This type of men will not spare anyone, even a pregnant wife. A wife can be saved only if she feels in advance that an attack from a domestic sadist will soon occur.
These two types are considered basic in psychology.
What if this happened for the first time?
Beating your husband? What to do? Where to go? The first thing a woman feels is stunned. How can you believe that a dear and beloved person raised his hand to you, to a fragile and tender girl. Yes, it happened, so the first thing to do is to calm down, give yourself and your husband time to analyze what happened. Of course, it is possible that this is just an accident and this will never happen again. We all get so mad at times that we can't control it.what happened. If your spouse understands that what happened is terrible on his part, then first of all he must apologize without fail.
What is a woman to do?
First of all, one duty falls on women's shoulders - the manifestation of wisdom. Analyze the relationship in the husband's family, how his parents contacted each other. If assault was not uncommon for them, then most likely your man is copying his father's behavior. And here, with almost one hundred percent certainty, we can say that solving problems with fists will become commonplace in your family. If love and harmony reigned in his family, you can forgive your husband and believe that this breakdown is an isolated case. Set a condition for your spouse that repeating this to the end will destroy your relationship. My ex-husband is beating me, what should I do? Cut off all contact with him, of course.
How to prevent domestic violence?
You should be clearly aware of one simple truth: if a person raised his hand, most often this is not limited to a single case. If the home tyrant dissolves his hands regularly, then you need to look for methods to prevent such behavior. Unfortunately, there are no services in Russia that should respond to cases of domestic violence against women. You have to contact the police or an ambulance. And then, you can count on them only in the most difficult cases. It remains to seek advice from a science such as psychology. From this it follows that even a defenseless pregnant woman can only rely on herself. The worst thing is when the husbandbeat the child. What to do? Pack up and leave home with your family. And immediately seek justice for the tyrant.
What behavioral strategy should be built?
Despite the fact that each case is individual, it is worth taking note of the following rules:
- What to do if the husband beats? It all starts with a sincere conversation frankly about the destructive behavior of the spouse. If he understands the horror of the current situation, then the ideal option would be a joint trip to a psychologist. The specialist will assess and analyze the current situation, after which he will give an answer why the marital relationship develops this way. Perhaps this is what will help the spouse get rid of the unacceptable habit of taking out his anger and bad mood on his beloved. If the husband does not understand and does not accept, then here the woman is unlikely to solve the problem on her own.
- Every woman from the very beginning of any relationship should clearly understand that she should never, regardless of the circumstances, be subjected to domestic violence.
- Any lady should respect herself and have dignity in order to prevent such a humiliating treatment.
- If a man raised his hand to you for the first time, don't throw tantrums. Just pack your things and leave your house. With this act, you will show the man that such a relationship does not suit you in any way and you are not going to put up with such behavior.
If your spouse regularly throws his fists at you and no amount of talking helps, the only way out is to leave, and as soon as possible. Otherwise, soon yourthe psyche will be destroyed, and humiliation will become a habit and become the norm. And in no case should it be like this.
Maybe it's time to declare war?
What to do if the husband beats? A good example would be the well-known film called Enough, starring the notorious Jennifer Lopez. The heroine of the picture is a young woman who, at first glance, has a good, prosperous family. A we althy husband, a charming daughter - what else is needed for happiness? However, over time, the picture of happiness is destroyed when the husband not only begins to cheat on his wife, but also beats the young woman on an ongoing basis. The patience of the heroine Jennifer is not rubber, and after a while she leaves home with her daughter…
What happens next?
…At the same time, he firmly decides that he will never allow himself to be treated like this again in his life. The woman comes to the conclusion that it is necessary to take revenge on the domestic tyrant. And here begins a period of hard training - both the body and willpower. Ultimately, the heroine managed to repay her husband in full. She made him feel the humiliation she faced day after day. Of course, the easiest way is to cry with a friend in the kitchen, complaining that your spouse is beating you. And still return to him and endure the humiliating attitude further. But not everyone can show stamina, strength. But do not forget that it depends only on you whether you will endure everything that happens, or still take the first step towards change.
How to hide from assault at home?
Husband beat his wife, what to do? Of course, it rarely happens that a weak woman can defeat an adult man, and even if he is angry. If you don’t have the opportunity to simply leave home, then there is only one way out - to start fighting not only for your own rights, but also for the well-being of children.
Husband beat me, what to do and where to go?
What are the options?
- Maybe I should go to self-defense courses? If at home you are like in a minefield, then a few tricks that will help you take out your opponent from the system will definitely come in handy.
- Learn not to show any reaction to your spouse's provocations. If you find yourself in this situation, it is better to grab the children in an armful and leave the house for a while. The husband must understand that these attacks do not bother you in any way.
- If the house has a room equipped with reliable doors that can be locked from the inside, this can be an excellent refuge during periods of outbursts of anger of a husband. Also, a woman should always have a mobile phone with her.
Such advice will not help to cope with a domestic tyrant, but can become a lifeline in emergency situations.