2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
Many teenagers in periods of rebellion and youthful maximalism are called difficult children. This term is not entirely correct, because teenagers often have such difficult behavior of a temporary nature, everything is explained by a riot of hormones that force young people to react very sharply to the surrounding reality. However, if there is a difficult child in the family, this manifests itself much earlier. Problems with the upbringing of such children become urgent at a very early age. How to live with a difficult child without harming someone's psyche?
First, let's define some terminology. Toddlers and older children, whose personality needs, according to experts, to be adjusted, are called difficult children in psychology. This is by no means a diagnosis or a sentence. Such a definition should be considered as a personal feature, especially since the manifestations of "difficulty" can be very different. In some children, it results in excessive anxiety and aggressiveness. Other'sa strategy of disobedience is developed to spite the parents. For others, it can even be expressed in destructive behavior, and often completely unconscious.
Why?
The reason for such a personality trait of a child lies, sadly, in the very family where he grows up. That is why people from orphanages are often called difficult children. After all, the environment in which they grow up contributes to the incorrect formation of the psyche, habits and behavior. However, sometimes such a child can grow up in a complete, seemingly prosperous family. The reason why children become "difficult" is the microclimate. It is possible that quarrels between parents, assault, and a tense atmosphere are practiced in the family. Or perhaps the child's wants and needs are for some reason not heard by his father and mother.
Then "difficult" behavior is a way to get attention. And a very small percentage of children are considered as such because of congenital or acquired problems with the nervous system. However, even with such a personality trait, a baby can grow up as a developed and socially integrated person.
What is parenting for difficult children?
First, if you want to change the status quo, start by finding the cause and fixing it, or at least mitigating it. As soon as the child ceases to be under constant pressure due to conflicts in the family, he will be able to reconsider his behavior and independently learn to behave correctly. Second, don't scoldchildren. Don't do too many restrictions. The strategy of connivance in relation to the child bears fruit, if everything is within reason. That is, actions that knowingly endanger the life and he alth of a child should be limited.
However, not a simple ban, but a detailed and calm explanation of why this should not be done. And leave disobedience and whims as they are. At first, the child will be surprised at such permission to do everything. And then, when he gets used to the fact that he is not limited by prohibitions, firstly, those actions that are performed in spite of parental requirements will disappear, and secondly, it will be possible to proceed to the second step of education.
Next step
The second step is dealing with difficult children. That is, you need to talk with any child. And difficult children require a lot more communication. They need to speak out every situation in which they behaved incorrectly. And at the same time, you need to talk about it in such a way as not to slip into blaming the baby for what he did. It is necessary to talk about the consequences of his act and its negative impact on the world around him. Then the child will be able to understand that his actions caused someone or something pain, trouble and inconvenience, but the guilt complex will not work. Well, the most important thing when dealing with difficult children is patience and boundless love from parents.
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