Signs of a bad date. Worst Dates (stories)

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Building expectations, defining for himself the necessary level of requirements for a partner, a person strives for love, going through meetings and partings, successful and unsuccessful dates, leaving painful marks on the heart. What do you need to know about this in order to perceive the situation as objectively as possible, without allowing anyone to destroy their own personality?

The dangers of bad dates

The Daily Mail has published the results of an online survey conducted with respondents who have experienced dating failures with the opposite sex. Frustrated young people reported a significant decline in he alth, ranging from increased levels of anxiety (25%) to skin problems (6%) that manifested themselves in the form of a reddish rash or eczema. 10% of respondents began unregulated overeating, a third showed signs of real depression.

This makes perfect sense from a medical point of view: Stress promotes the release of testosterone and cortisol. The first affects the functioning of the sebaceous glands,secreting an increased amount of fat, leading to skin rashes, and cortisol through the receptors of the hypothalamus affects a significant increase in appetite. Weakened immunity due to stress affects the duration of the disease state.

Severe psychological consequences led to reluctance to meet again (70%) and disruption of communication with loved ones due to fear of questioning and negative assessments of what happened. Refusing further dates, a person deprives himself of a feeling of happiness, a positive outlook on the world, motivation to work on himself and his appearance, what gives a surge of hormones. Is it possible to understand in advance the signs of a bad date in order to avoid dire consequences?

What should alert the day before

Smart people only go to meetings with partners they know and are confident in. But in the age of the Internet and mobile communications, blind dates are increasingly being practiced among people, so prudent people prefer to be a little late and watch a girl or a guy from afar in order to avoid unpleasant disappointments. And so that the conscience does not torment, they call and come up with a good reason for the impossibility of the meeting. This is unpleasant, but it hurts the partner's ego less and does not lead to a waste of time.

The most unfortunate dates begin with deceit: instead of a real photo, the unlimited possibilities of Photoshop are shown, or even a figurehead. Age, income, profession, marital status are distorted. What is the deceiver expecting? For what is contentcorrespondence revealed a rich inner world, which at the first date will outweigh everything else. Alas, the disappointment from the meeting can be so strong that everything achieved during the preliminary communication will lose its meaning. It is better not to deal with a person who has been caught in a lie.

In addition to cheating, you should pay attention to:

• for the place and time of the proposed meeting, which are well informed about the intentions of the partner (do not build illusions that a date on the territory of someone's apartment will be exclusively romantic);
• excessive perseverance of a partner at any point (you can always run into a pick-up artist, a debater or a figurehead who has goals far from love);
• partner's contacts (dating a person who knows only an e-mail means exposing yourself to a certain risk).

Importance of the first meeting

A bad first date can program a person for a certain scenario in the future, so with a fair amount of doubt, it is better to refuse a meeting. A certain complex can form both in a girl and in a boy. Their failures in the future will be associated with a sense of fear and anxiety before the repetition of the opening history. Fear leads to tension and stiffness (presentation of oneself, gestures, posture, facial expressions), which completely deprives external sexuality. It either paralyzes mental activity or causes excessive activity, which is also pretty bad.

Losers react incorrectly to compliments, perceiving them as flattery: “No, this is not my hair color, I dyed it”;“Yes, I don’t go to training regularly, you should have seen my friend’s cubes on his stomach.” As a result, the girl gets the impression that she is an ordinary gray mouse, and the guy does not see the necessary masculinity and masculinity. Which leads to further setbacks on the love front.

First date turned last for Jessica Mackenzie

Star bad dates become public, stories about which can be read on the Internet. Twenty-five-year-old student Jessica McKenzie published on her social network page the details of the meeting with the young talent of the Manchester United club Adnan Januzaj. A member of the Belgian football team with an income of $ 5 million a year showed up for a date on foot in a tracksuit. While the girl spent a certain amount on hair, cosmetics and a glamorous outfit. In Jessica's car, the couple went to Nando's fast food restaurant, where the footballer treated the girl to cheap chicken burgers.

The end of the meeting was a room in a three-star hotel, where the guy and his companion watched TV until nine in the evening. After that, Adnan asked to be taken home, as he had to get up early in the morning for training. It is obvious to everyone that an angry Jessica publicized a juicy revenge story on a football player who not only did not justify her hopes, but also left the beginning of the relationship without continuation. Why is this happening? Why does the first meeting become the last?

Failed dates through the eyes of men: the main signs

One can guess what guided Adnan by choosing such a plan for a rendezvous. It is likely that this was a test of the sincerity of the girl's feelings. But one thing must be said with certainty: the spark that should run between people has not been kindled. Foreign studies of the causes of unsuccessful dates among visitors to dating sites have determined that 64% of respondents see this as the main reason for their unsuccessful meetings. And if the girls at the same time are ready to continue communication, giving men a second chance and finding other virtues in them, then for a man this is the end of an acquaintance. They must desire their partner.

Among the signs of an unsuccessful date, male listeners of Mayak radio in a program specially dedicated to this topic identified those that turned them away from their girlfriends:

• didn't come, much late;
• showed up with a friend;
• immediately stipulated that the time for the meeting is limited;
• asked for help to close a cash loan;
• persistently asked if he could use a chainsaw;
• unpleasantly struck outwardly (came in a chic floor-length dress, with unwashed ears);
• ordered so much at the restaurant that I could barely pay;
• too much alcohol;
• was talking left-handed about her ex all evening.

Obviously half of the reasons wouldn't have been mentioned if the girl really liked it. For men who expect to continue, unsuccessful dates with women are the absence of an invitation to tea. Or worse, an invitation without development. The girl on the forum described how, after a protractedI regretted the party and left the guy at my place to spend the night. And then she kept texting all the time, fighting off his persistent harassment. At the same time, the guy was lying two steps away from her on the floor. The male psyche is not able to capture the nuances, perceiving the signals unambiguously: left, which means it is waiting for the continuation. Nothing hits a man's self-esteem like a woman's provocative behavior.

Women's look at the signs of a bad date

Girls as more refined natures have their own list of requirements for the opposite sex. The longer it is, the greater the likelihood of disappointment from the meeting. Bad dates as seen by women are:

• "Fedot, but the wrong one" - the wrong type of male appearance, disapproved clothing style, unpresentable appearance (a significant part of smart girls are ready to give an extra chance).
• “He says the wrong thing” - rude in speeches, allows categorical judgments and aggressive attacks; complains about fate, lack of work, mortgages and business failures; talks only about himself, never asking a single question.
• “Does the wrong thing” – argues with the waiter over the change, regrets the tip, does not pay for the girl; indecently paws a partner, allowing frivolity and directly offering sex; aggressive with third parties, provokes a scandal.

But the most unfortunate dates, the stories about which the listeners of radio "Mayak" told, were overshadowed by unpleasant surprises discovered by chance. The guy announces that he forgot his wallet, unexpectedly met a friend“surrenders” that he has been married for a long time and has children, tattoos with origins from places of detention are found under the T-shirt.

These meaningful conversations

Psychological incompatibility was ranked second among the reasons for unsuccessful dates by respondents of dating sites (47%). Best of all, it manifests itself during a conversation that creates serious tension. What influences this?

• Awkward silence difficult for the parties to overcome.
• Short answers that leave no chance to develop the topic of conversation.
• Absence of clarifying questions indicating a lack of interest on the part of the partner.
• An indifferent gaze or loss of eye contact.
• Difficulties in choosing topics for dialogue.
• A we alth of information that is difficult to manage.
• Unreasonable distraction by phone or other contacts.
• Phrases indicating the inattention of the interlocutor.
• Memories of an ex (16% of respondents consider this sufficient reason to end a relationship).
• Partner does not address by name or even mixed it up.
• Search for reasons to end the dialogue: work, memory of unfinished business, state of he alth.

Usually unsuccessful dates end with a handshake or awkward hugs, no promises to continue dating and a request from the girl not to see her off. The most deadly phrase on the part of a man: "Let's call" - for which the interested party grabslike a straw. But this is one of the signs that a second meeting is unlikely to follow.

Star Stories

Unforgiven awkwardness

The most successful people in the world have had bad dates, which they share in the hope of supporting the unfortunate. Girl's Life published the story of Justin Bieber, the favorite of millions of girls, who told the world about the fiasco he suffered in an Italian restaurant during a date. Having knocked over a plate of spaghetti on the girl, Justin could not beg forgiveness and broke up with his passion.

Missed Opportunity

Jimmy Fallon, a popular TV presenter, after 10 years, learned about the missed opportunity to win the heart of the golden-haired beauty Nicole Kidman. Inviting her to dinner, he was so nervous that he couldn't keep up the conversation and turned on the video game. A young woman who actually liked him thought she simply wasn't really interested in Jimmy.

"Dynamo"

Not everyone is ready to describe the most unfortunate date. The story of a man known from the TV show "Removal Rules", Sergei Stillavin, is a revelation about how once he, a real master, was "driven" by an ordinary girl. Having bought two bouquets of flowers and hidden them in the trunk of a car, he met with his chosen one on the eve of an important event for himself - meeting her mother. The girl said that there were unexpected guests in the house, so the meeting should be rescheduled at the time of their departure. For four hours, the couple rode around the city in anticipation of the cherished hour, until after the nextThe failed bride did not tell her that her grandmother had died. Stillavin had to throw away the flowers, which by that time had spread their fragrance throughout the interior of the car.

Screen Stories

The best description of bad dates for men is in the 1970 Soviet film The Seven Brides of Corporal Zbruev, which can be seen as an encyclopedia of the unlucky guy. The viewer observes seven meetings with the girls by correspondence of the brave soldier, whose portrait graced the cover of the magazine "Skillful Warrior". There is everything in his dates: a deceit on the part of a Komsomol functionary who lures a soldier to a youth Siberian construction site; an oversight that cost a failed meeting with a girl named Oksana waiting on the platform; interference from third parties in the form of a hostel commandant when communicating with modest Lyusya from a small town of weavers. The most characteristic stories include two.

"Hello stork!"

To this song, the main character left another failed bride and groom, refusing even a cup of tea. Everything is with her: beauty, romance, decency, thrift. Isn't this what a former orphan named Konstantin was looking for, who began a journey through acquaintances in absentia of girls? That's just the point, that this. But such a rapid development of events, in which communication is based on viewing him through the prism as a potential groom, will scare away any man. Having given a positive assessment for all indicators, the girl “privatized” the gentleman, introducing her to her neighbors, making joint plans, raising her like a child. From skillfully created fetters alwaysI want to escape, which is what the main character does.

Alluring beauty

An example of expectations built incorrectly in my head was the meeting between Kostya from Gunyaevo and a famous actress who also came to conquer Moscow from the countryside. The longing for a rural barefoot childhood prompted her to write to a young soldier. There is nothing personal in the letters, no promises. But captivated by the extraordinary beauty, Kostya dreams of a possible fateful meeting, trying to conquer the young beauty. In her eyes, he is an awkward village guy who can’t call a taxi in a large metropolis, can’t even cope with the role of a plumber. In a moment, he completely merges for her with a crowd of cadets. Thousands of kilometers covered by a young man for such alluring, but inaccessible beauty.

Stories of ordinary people

Stories about bad dates are very important for the storytellers themselves, as well as for listeners or readers. It's an easier way to deal with stress. It is known that 24% of unlucky people try to cheer up their mood with the help of alcohol, 13% - shopping, not realizing that the analysis of events and an ironic attitude to what is happening are much stronger medicines. An example is the story of Michelle Thomas (UK).

The girl met a guy, whom she charmed with her mind, character, manners during the meeting. The next day, she received a letter in which he confessed this, expressing his readiness to marry. But on one condition: Michelle should lose a few extra pounds. The girl wasso offended that she wrote him an open letter on a blog read by thousands of young women who are afraid to love and accept themselves for who they are. With her response, Michelle started a whole campaign that shook the Internet.

The most unsuccessful dates teach you how to get out of difficult situations in which anyone can find themselves:

• the guy came on a date with his mother, citing the fact that he would not waste time on the one that his parent would not like;
• the next morning the girl pleases the guy with the results of the test with two stripes;
• leaving the restroom in a cafe, the lady mixed up the table, sitting next to strangers;
• seeing his companion without makeup in the morning, the guy was horrified.

Thousands of stories teach the main thing: sometimes parting with a partner is a blessing that gives hope to meet your soul mate faster, approaching her through a deep understanding of what is happening. And understanding that other people's tastes should not be the other person's problem.