How to ward off a husband from his mother-in-law: advice from a psychologist. The mother-in-law sets her husband against me: what should I do?

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Harmonious relationship between spouses is an incredibly painstaking work, in which both partners take part. But what to do if a "third wheel" - the husband's mother - constantly gets into the relationship? So many women face the same problem: the husband listens to the advice of his mother-in-law, and she, in turn, constantly manipulates her son, intervenes in quarrels and conflicts that take place in the family, and often sets her own child against her daughter-in-law. The problem of how to ward off the mother-in-law is truly global. Very often, conflicts with the husband's mother become the cause of discord in relationships and even divorce. Even if you are well acquainted with psychology, apply all existing methods of diplomacy, this does not mean at all that you will be able to influence your own mother-in-law. The fact is that there are such types of people who are initially tuned to the negative. Any attempts to establish peaceful relations with such a person will not lead towhat. So how do you get along with your mother-in-law, or how to drive your husband away from your mother-in-law? We propose to talk about this right now!

Psychological background

When getting married, every girl expects that she and her husband will have a friendly and strong family. Unfortunately, sometimes these dreams remain only dreams. Nervousness and serious discord in the relationship brings the mother-in-law. Why does the mother-in-law not love the daughter-in-law? Psychology gives the answer: the fact is that many mothers can’t come to terms with the idea that their adored boy has grown up, out of parental control and guardianship. The mother continues to control every step of her son, regularly comes to his house with checks, can call dozens of times a day, demand an every minute report. Of course, this will make the wife nervous.

A man's excessive attachment to his mother also plays a special role in this. You won't be able to get rid of this problem overnight. The fact is that the dependence of these two people on each other has been formed over the years. Maternal overprotection can have many secret intentions and reasons. When deciding how to ward off a husband from his mother-in-law, you will have to fight not with the character of this woman, but with those images and attachments that have long entered the subconscious of the husband and his mother. The fact is that if your spouse had a desire to get rid of an overly annoying mother, he would have done it long ago. Your main task is to awaken this desire in him.

Two housewives in the same kitchen

The situation gets worse when spouses livein mother-in-law's house. One woman sooner or later will have a desire to take the reins of government. If the daughter-in-law lives on the territory of her mother-in-law, she will have a very hard time, especially when it is her husband's childhood home, where she is a stranger, albeit a beloved one. Of course, it is very difficult to find some kind of universal recipe that makes life easier, but there are a number of rules, following which you can solve the question of how to keep your husband away from your mother-in-law forever!

Non-Aggression Pact

Many women wonder: “What if the mother-in-law lives with us and turns her husband against me”? Psychologists say: when you are trying to redo everything in your own way in the house of your husband’s mother, first of all try to think about whether you would like such a situation when someone is in charge of your kitchen? You can deduce the first rule: in no case do not make rationalization proposals for organizing the life of your mother-in-law. You can either remain silent or admire this woman as a hostess. In no case do not complain to the husband's mother about the behavior of the second half. In her eyes, you should always be satisfied with your own husband. The fact is that she can listen to you and sympathize, but she will always be on the side of her child. Do not let the mother-in-law drag you into conflicts and showdown! Remember, in such a dispute, truth is not born, you can only find a negative attitude towards each other. Please note: in no case should this look like your defeat or weakness of character! Just try to switch during disputesmother-in-law's attention to completely extraneous things.

No ultimatums

Of course, one can understand the dissatisfaction and irritation of the daughter-in-law due to the fact that the mother-in-law constantly sets her husband against her. However, it is necessary to refrain from scandals and quarrels, and even more so from ultimatums like "Choose: either I or she." Do not forget that it will be difficult for your spouse to make a decision, because he literally finds himself between two fires. In no case do not interfere with his meetings with his mother, thereby you can only worsen an already difficult situation. In this case, in the eyes of your spouse, his relatives and friends, you will appear as a selfish, insensitive and jealous woman. And believe me, in order to convince everyone around you of this, your mother-in-law will spare neither time nor effort.

Out of sight, out of mind

The surest way to get rid of your monster mother-in-law is to go somewhere else! In the event that after the wedding you intend to live or already live with this woman under the same roof, there will be absolutely no point in further actions. You won’t drive your husband away from your mother-in-law, but she may well do something similar. That is why move: no matter where - to the other end of the city, to another region, and even better to the other end of the country. So you will have to see your mother-in-law much less often. It is the condition of territorial remoteness, according to psychologists, that makes it possible to solve the question of how to ward off a husband from his mother-in-law. In your soulmate, sprouts of independence and psychologicalindependence from mother. You will only have to direct events in the direction you need.

Reverse side of the coin

True, this method may have several drawbacks. For example, it may turn out that your spouse is completely unable to make decisions, for an extended period of time you will have to guide him, babysit him and endure his whims. It is you who will have to replace his mother for some time in all spheres of life. Psychologists recommend creating your own rules for your husband instead of the mother's, which have been lost. Of course, at first you will have to make decisions alone, giving your husband only instructions. Of course, this is not the best option, but the spouse will be completely yours.

It is possible that your chosen one has long wanted to escape from his mother, but was worried that he would lose a number of household amenities. Only by getting rid of the maternal yoke, he will be able to understand the superiority of independent living. In the event that the annoying mother continues to bother, and your husband follows her lead, try to play a show: provoke a situation where the interests of your soulmate and his mother collide, as they say, “head to head”. For example, if your spouse is going to a football match and has already bought tickets, try to arrange with your mother-in-law to visit her on the same day, promise her that your husband and her son will take her to the dacha or to the clinic that day. Is it possible to refuse your own mother? Such a moment, according to psychologists, will turn the tidefighting with a bad mother-in-law in your direction and drive her away from your family.

Night Cuckoo

What to do if the mother-in-law interferes with life? Experts in the field of family relations say: putting a husband before a choice between himself and his own mother is the greatest stupidity. Life between two fires will certainly end in scandals and even depression. You will not be able to permanently excommunicate your husband from his own person, because any child always worries about his parents. Experts recommend prioritizing in bed. Yes, you understood everything correctly: for some time you will have to manipulate your husband through love pleasures. The word "wife" should be associated with passionate nights, and your name should be the key to erotic memories. After that, you will no longer need the advice of a psychologist - how to ward off your husband from your mother-in-law. Monologues of the husband's mother with a negative connotation in your direction will fly in one ear and fly out the other!

Open dialogue

As long as the presence of the mother-in-law is felt in your life literally at every turn, try to talk frankly with your spouse. Explain the situation to him. This should be done in the most calm tone, the emphasis in such a conversation should be on the fact that he is an adult man. At the same time, it is extremely important not to demonstrate a negative attitude towards his mother. Just gently hint that there are too many mothers-in-law in your personal life. The time a husband spends on the phone or visiting her can be made much moreinteresting and inspiring! In no case do not swear at the mother-in-law, do not use such expressions as "Your mother got me!" From a pure principle, your husband can remember how many times he was annoyed by his "beloved" mother-in-law. This means that the conversation will end with a transition to personalities and a terrible scandal. Instead, specify that you understand that the mother is worried about her child, wants him to be well. After that, it is worth giving the main argument: explain to your husband that he is an adult and independent man, the head of the family, you should not be allowed to treat yourself like a helpless baby.

No one is perfect

What if the mother-in-law is a monster? Is it possible to separate her husband from her? Experts say: her own misdeeds will help you in this! In the event that the relationship with the husband’s mother does not add up, try to make your spouse very disappointed in her. The fact is that for many years he had a certain opinion about his mother. In the event that you manage to provoke a sharp deviation from the usual image, this can simply disorient your spouse. He may not accept the new image of his mother and even reject it for a long time.

Reduce communication

Often women complain: "The mother-in-law turns her husband against me." What to do in such a situation? Reduce contacts of the spouse with his mother. You need to find plausible excuses that will allow you to do this. Of course, sometimes this is very difficult, because many mothers-in-law put pressure on pity, talking aboutthat this is the fate of all mothers: to raise a child and become unnecessary, some women begin to reproach their son for selfishness and ingratitude. How many times has your husband heard from his mother: “I gave birth to you, raised you, and now your wife comes first for you!”? Be firm. You can refer to your husband's employment at work, his sports or something else. But in no case do not talk about the poor he alth of the spouse, in this situation you will never get rid of the bad mother-in-law!

Bitchy mother-in-law

The most difficult type of mother-in-law is a domineering woman who is used to having absolutely everyone obey her. Most often, such a lady has only one son, of course, she will even control the process of his breathing! It is incredibly difficult to drive your chosen one away from such a mother-in-law. In addition, she simply will not allow you to establish diplomatic relations with her. In you, she will see only a servant for her own son. At the same time, she is firmly convinced that you are not a couple for her adored child. What to do if you can’t leave such an “Armageddon in a skirt” either to another continent, or at least to the other end of the city? How to deal with a mother-in-law who sees you as an enemy? Psychologists recommend not to let this situation take its course, because the main goal of the despot mother-in-law is your divorce. The thing is that her beloved son is the basis of her existence, she has absolutely no other goals. That is why psychologists recommend trying to find a new meaning for this woman in life. To do this, you need to carefully study the interests of the husband’s mother, herdreams and plans. For example, if she has dreamed of growing crocuses and tulips all her life, and instead works, say, as a primary school teacher, give her a small greenhouse, of course, as an addition to a cozy country house. Believe me, all your expenses will pay off three times! It is extremely important to approach this process creatively and in no case deviate from the intended goal.

We do the old fashioned way

Women who find themselves in a difficult situation with their mother-in-law cannot be envied. Very often they do not have enough strength, or imagination, or simply time to understand how to ward off a husband from his mother-in-law. In ancient times, it was customary to fight such women with the help of various lapels and conspiracies. Some of the magical rites have come down to us, after which mother and son cease to be interested in each other. Which ritual to choose? It depends on what kind of relationship develops in your family. The fact is that completely different options are suitable for each case.

For example, a number of conspiracies help get rid of annoying moralizing, others are aimed at ensuring that the mother of your other half does not interfere in your personal relationships. And sometimes young women want their mother-in-law to completely forget the way to the house. First of all, esotericists recommend performing a ritual that helps to improve relations with the mother-in-law. He stops cursing and awakens love for her daughter-in-law in the heart of her husband's mother. In order to perform this ritual, you will need to purchase 7 candles in the temple and bake them with your own hands.pie. The best time for this is a full moon or waxing moon. Around midnight, you need to arrange candles on the floor, you should get a circle. Exactly at 12 o'clock, you need to light candles, put a pie in the middle of the circle and stand in it yourself. After that, you need to read the following text 7 times:

Now I am my own mother, the one who gave birth to my beloved! So that there were no barriers between us, calm reigned and everything went smoothly! I attract the forces of goodness and love to the hearth, the envious enemy will not penetrate there! Let us get rid of anger and hatred, and get rid of hostility! I cooked a delicious pie, when you taste a sweet piece, So you will love me and call me your beloved daughter-in-law! From now on and forever you will be like a lawful mother to me! Candles will help me in the semi-darkness, a conspiracy to love, sending you! Amen!

These words can be learned or handwritten on white paper. After that, the candles should burn out completely, the cinders should be wrapped in paper on which the plot was written, then they should be buried in a place where a person’s foot does not step. And the cake will need to be eaten together with the husband's mother. In the event that the mother-in-law interferes too actively in family affairs, while exerting a strong influence on her son, a conspiracy will help that will allow her to be driven away from home. The ceremony is quite simple, for it you should choose the time when the moon is waning. At sunrise, you need to take a handful of s alt in your palm and say the following words:

S alt s alt, white s alt, loose s alt! Help the servant of God (name) to drive away from my house, so that she lives her life, does her deeds, and mineYes, she was not interested in her husbands and did not climb. Help get rid of her advice and complaints. Save from anger and hostility. Make her forget the way to our house, Yes, she stopped going to us! Amen!

You need to repeat such a conspiracy nine times in a row, and then sprinkle s alt at the threshold of the mother-in-law's house. A month later, you need to perform the ritual again. You will see that the mother-in-law will become less interested in the affairs of her son, find herself an exciting activity and stop interfering endlessly in your life!