2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
Already at the stage of pregnancy, knowing that the long-awaited son will soon be born, every woman thinks about how to raise a boy as a real man. It would seem that there is nothing complicated about this - according to the prevailing stereotypes, for the correct growth and formation of knowledge, the boy needs the attention of his father. And not just attention, but the direct participation of the parent in the life of the child. Modern psychology has debunked the myth that only in a complete family is it possible to raise a real and strong man - both a married woman and a single mother can raise him.
Birth
When a baby is born, he needs all the love and care of his mother. Until a conscious age, according to research, a child does not distinguish between people by gender, but by the first year of life, he can easilydetermines where mom, dad, sister, uncle or other relatives, acquaintances are. From the very moment of birth, a boy needs more warmth and affection than a newborn girl, since the small representatives of the strong half of humanity are more vulnerable physically and psychologically. There is no need to limit communication with the baby - even at such a young age, the child feels an attitude towards himself. Rocking a crying son in your arms, you should talk to him, reminding him that he is a man, he is strong and brave.
Growing Up
When a boy turns three years old, communication with males becomes a necessity for him, and it does not matter who it will be: dad, girlfriend's husband or grandfather. For him, the main thing at this age is to comprehend and adopt all male behavioral qualities and habits. In how to raise a boy as a real man, psychology at this stage of his development advises not to force a child to do something at the request of his parents, against his will. This is fraught with the emergence of misunderstandings in the family, as well as the manifestation of personal complexes in the baby at a more mature age.
From boy to man
A child, getting older and taking as a basis the behavior of the representatives of the stronger sex around him since childhood, builds communication with peers and relatives. The boy's attitude towards women is formed thanks to his mother - it is she who is the personification of femininity, beauty and domestic warmth. Looking at the mother, the baby on a subconscious level remembers her traits, both external and character, which in the future will be reflected inhis preferences in choosing a life partner.
Can a mother raise her son on her own
Many women, in an attempt to give their child the love and care of a father, often sacrifice themselves. At the same time, each of them finds excuses for their actions: "So what if the husband beats me / does not work / drinks / cheats, but the boy has a father. To grow a man out of him, he needs fatherly care." Often such "concern" manifests itself in the form of constant poking and prodding, since in case of disrespect for a woman one can hardly expect strong paternal feelings from a husband. Men of this kind in no way, except, of course, the very conception, will not participate in the upbringing of the baby, all worries about him will lie entirely on the shoulders of women.
As a result, after long and painful attempts to correct the "careless dad" and a vain search for a compromise, the family breaks up. This pushes a woman with a young son to look for a new dad for the baby. Sometimes everything repeats itself in a circle, and in other cases, only a few find a good family man and father. You should not think that, having parted with her husband, a single mother will not be able to properly raise a boy - this is within the power of any adequate and loving mother. To do this, you must follow a few simple rules for communicating with your child.
How to raise a boy to be a real man without a father
From the moment of awareness of the world around, a mother must develop in her son responsibility for himself, his words and deeds. With timethe boy will begin to understand that the promise must be kept, and mistakes corrected. The child should be explained only in a calm, affectionate tone, without scandals and tantrums. It is important to remember that the baby must be constantly given the right to choose - this is the only way he will feel independent.
There is another important aspect in how to raise a boy as a real man: the son must feel his importance. But there is no need to cultivate egocentrism in him - such a person will grow up as a "narcissus", and his further adaptation in adult life will be much more difficult. Significance is not instilled on the scale of the universe (I am everything for this world), but only in relation to the mother. For example, when boarding public transport, a mother can ask her son to help her, or during a walk she turns to him with the words: "Take my hand, if I fall, and you hold me."
Any mother should understand that communicating with males to a child is vital in order to become a successful and confident man. She is obliged to allow her son to see his father (if any), to spend time with him. At the same time, she should constantly be aware of all the events taking place in his life, talk to him about it and help solve problems. How to raise a son to be a real man? Become his friend, best and closest. With a lack of male attention, the boy, of course, after agreeing with him, must be enrolled in any sports section - sports discipline,helps the child adapt to society.
Raising a Real Man: Common Mistakes
- An excess of love at a conscious age provokes a child's incorrect perception of the world around him. Undoubtedly, it is possible and necessary to love and protect your child, but there must be a measure in everything. Mothers should prepare themselves in advance for the moment when the son grows up and starts a family. Some women are especially sensitive to the departure of a child from the parental home, they simply cannot come to terms with the fact that their adored son is now without a mother.
- A cruel attitude, pressure from parents never helped to raise a strong and courageous man. From families who believe that screaming and assault, as well as the lack of the right to choose, are the norm, there are downtrodden, shy and at the same time embittered guys who have low self-esteem and disrespect for women in their luggage. It is worth remembering that our children are a reflection of the "weather in the house" and the behavior of their parents.
- Lack of attention from both mother and father makes the future man withdraw into himself. Growing up, such boys become alienated, many of them, in order to make their parents notice themselves, contact bad companies, start drinking alcohol, drugs, and acquire various bad habits.
Future Man: Growing Up in a Whole Family
Some mothers make one very big mistake - worrying about the he alth and safety of their newborn baby, theydo not allow the father to fully enjoy communication with him. It is the very first moment of the meeting between dad and son that is the key to raising a boy to be a real man. If the wife refuses her husband's desire to help with the baby several times, then the future he althy communication between father and son may come to naught.
Mom and Dad
Mothers should leave their child with her husband more often, encourage them to spend time together - organize various trips for their men, send them on a fishing trip. In any conflict situations, the mother must remain neutral, but at the same time do not forget to talk with the baby about his misdeeds.
How can a father raise a boy to be a real man? To do this, you need to be an example to him in everything, starting with his attitude towards his wife and ending with his position in society. The child intuitively feels whether his father loves his mother, whether he respects her. Even if both parents try to create an image of an ideal family with their son, and behind closed doors they constantly sort things out quietly, it will be difficult to raise a real, mentally he althy member of society from a boy.
Books are the best helpers in the educational process
Many parents are looking for an answer to the question of how to raise a boy to be a real man. The book, which contains good old fairy tales, helps to tell the child in detail about the role he plays in life. Knights, heroes, princes, possessing remarkable strength, are always ready to help the weaker sex - beauties enchanted by evilwizards.
The distribution of roles in each fairy tale makes it possible to explain to a little boy in an accessible way that men are strong, heroic and selfless people. Thanks to fairy tales, an ideal image is formed in the subconscious of the child, to which he wants to strive.
How to raise a son to be a real man: advice from psychologists for moms
- Teach your child the rules of etiquette. It does not matter at what age to start, the main thing is that from an early age he understands how to talk with elders, why women need help, and how important the words he utters are.
- Explain to your son that all his emotions: fear, embarrassment, joy, sadness and sadness can and should be expressed in words.
- Teach your baby to order, let him help you around the house.
- Organize reading evenings, read good life stories and fairy tales to your son, share your impressions with him.
- Teach your child how to lose. Supporting him in his failures, tell the boy that one defeat is not a reason to give up and give up on the goal.
- Show him that showing affection is not weakness.
- Let your child help you and the people around you. Let it be, don't force it.
- Encourage frequent communication between father and son.
Advice for fathers
- Throughout your pregnancy support your spouse,talk to the baby growing under her heart. After his birth, try to spend as much time as possible with him. It is at this stage that you will begin to understand how to raise a real man from a boy, using only your skills and love for the child.
- Find free time, try to be at home as much as possible - endless business trips and irregular working hours take away your precious childhood spent with dad from your baby.
- Emotion more often. Love, laughter and tears associated with your son are not considered weakness. Looking at you, the boy will understand that there is nothing to be ashamed of.
- Be disciplined, set a daily routine for your child. How to raise a son so that he grows up a successful man? Make his day useful, help him solve the tasks. Gently, without assault, set the norms of discipline, while calmly and firmly insisting on respect for yourself and your mother.
- Know how to have fun with your son. Joint leisure should bring joy to both the child and you.
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