To all of us in adolescence, life seems rosy and bright, and all dreams are feasible. At such a time, I want to believe in the beautiful and good. However, not everything always goes as planned. The pain is felt more acutely from an unexpected parting with a person to whom just recently you wanted to give tender feelings and love.
Many of the fair sex are familiar with the following situation: a girl is waiting for a call from her boyfriend, but the phone has been silent for several days, and at rare meetings, her beloved does not talk much, looks away. At such moments, I want to go into a serious conversation and find out the reason why the gap arose between loving people. However, showdowns only cause irritation.
Typically, most of the time guys don't explain anything. They just leave. But what happened? What black cat ran between the lovers? Why did the relationship with the guy deteriorate so sharply? Was there any way to prevent this gap? All these questions haunt young beauties. ATIn our article, we will try to give answers to them, and also consider how you can improve your relationship with a guy and avoid feeling cold.
Reasons for bad relationships
Before treating any disease, doctors identify the cause of its occurrence. As for relationships with a guy, you should do the same here. What can cause a breakup? Why are the couple breaking up? Most often, the deterioration of relations with a guy occurs due to mutual misunderstanding. Girls, as a rule, look at the world a little differently than boys. The representatives of the fair sex prioritize romance and feelings. They dream of receiving tenderness and warmth from their lover. However, for this, the beauties themselves do almost nothing. You can't demand constant attention. This first tires the soulmate, then begins to annoy her. At this stage, there is one small step left before the break.
Some selfishness on the part of a lady is acceptable in the first month of a relationship with a guy, though not with everyone. If a girl plans to link her fate with a gentleman for a long time, she must be able to feel the line that cannot be crossed. There is no general recipe for happiness that suits absolutely everyone. Each couple has its own limits. Approaching her, the girl begins to experience a lack of attention. However, at this stage, everything can still be returned. How? We will talk about this later.
There is another reason for breaking up a relationship. This is basic boredom. The guy is just tired of the routine, he wants a holiday for the soul, withoutwhich his feelings are gradually fading away. More often this is observed after a year of relationship with a guy, although in this matter the terms for each couple are different. If a girl loves her boyfriend very much and does not intend to part with him, she should add bright colors to the dullness of everyday life.
Psychologists say that many women subconsciously seek to completely subjugate men. Such ambitious beauties, after the first month of relationship with a guy, begin to control him, deprive him of his freedom, demand from her lover that he belongs only to them. Dear ladies! Remember, in men, one might say, at the genetic level, there is a craving for freedom, only in each of them it manifests itself in different ways. Do you want to lead them? Do it in such a way that he does not feel your pressure. Pick up the key to it, use the female cunning given to you by mother nature.
If you openly demand something from them and make your claims, you can not even count on friendship.
At the very beginning of a relationship with a guy, a girl should understand that her chosen one has a life of her own. You can not claim a place in it by the method of accusations, insults, tears and tantrums. Take a closer look at your boyfriend, study his weaknesses, figure out his priorities. Only after that, start slowly equipping your cozy corner in his life.
Once and for all, a girl must understand that in order to build a good relationship with a guy, a young man needs only the chosen one who will be there in difficult times and will support him. To save love,rebuild yourself completely. This is the only way you can achieve a strong and serious relationship with a guy.
How to save love
If there is a feeling that your bonds are cracking, then you should not immediately despair, start blaming your girlfriends, friends, the whole world, cry into your pillow. As you know, Moscow does not believe in tears. It doesn't matter if this is your first relationship with a guy or you already had a bad experience. In any case, it is necessary to constantly maintain in him an interest in your person, figuratively speaking, to ensure that not a single spark disappears from the fire of love.
How to do it? The main thing is to match the ideals of your chosen one, to always be creative, cheerful, attractive. Do not allow yourself petty reproaches, do not speak badly about his relatives, friends, hobbies. You don't like them? Then look for another chosen one, and do not try to change the one you have now. If you really love him, try to change something in yourself.
It's especially difficult to maintain a long-term relationship with a younger guy. The more significant the difference, the more problems. Perhaps at some point your boyfriend had a warm feeling for you, something in you attracted him. But there are so many young beauties around who may try to take your place. To prevent this from happening, you must always maintain a radiant and youthful appearance, and also not grow old in soul, support your boyfriend's hobbies, arouse his admiration.
If the gap is already close, how to improve relations with a guy?This is hard science. We will try to give some tips that may help you.
Take life easy
It would be best if the girl creates a trusting and warm relationship. There is no need to complicate anything in this life. Guys love those girls who are able to look at life positively, treating everything with great irony. Psychologists say that he althy, harmless humor strengthens feelings, relieves tension, makes the world around you more interesting and pleasant. If you are developing only the first relationship with a guy, pay attention to this fact. Just do not go too far, demonstrating your laughter, and do not try to amuse your beloved with too sharp and sharp jokes.
Stay away from controversial issues
Smart and wise ladies try to avoid all controversial issues. If you and your boyfriend have significant differences in outlook on life, you need to accept his priorities or look for another gentleman. It is possible to maintain a relationship with this one, but in this case, there is no need to sharpen the questions and find out which of you is more mistaken.
If you have a desire to maintain a relationship with your loved one, you should not provoke quarrels, constantly make comments to the young man, pointing out his shortcomings. Do you love him? Then accept it the way it is. Of course, if your only one has addictions, you can’t put up with it. But to achieve your goal by the method of "frontal attack" will not work. At best, you will instructpainful bumps in your soul, and at worst, you will kill all the good that is between you and the chosen one.
Do not restrict personal freedom
The most common mistake of young girls is the desire to control the life of their chosen one, demanding constant attention from him. This is absolutely wrong. Everyone in a relationship should have their own personal space, where you can be alone with yourself for some time. If a guy wants to go to football or devote his free time to friends, then so be it. At this time, the girl can take care of herself, put her appearance in order, visit her girlfriends. After you've spent some time apart, a reunion will be more desirable.
Know how to forgive mistakes
It should be remembered that all people are capable of doing some rash things. As the saying goes, the gods make mistakes. In this life, absolutely everyone can stumble, so it will be right not only to be able to forgive, but also to give a chance to your chosen one to improve. Don't consider yourself a saint. If you are absolutely sinless, then your place is in heaven, and not in our mortal life. Even God forgives mistakes. Don't put yourself above him. Wise men say that the bad is needed in order to appreciate the good more.
Of course, mistakes are different. Before you give a stumbled guy a chance, give yourself an honest answer, do you love him, do you need him. If yes, then do not break the thread that binds you. If your heart is at a loss for an answer, it's better to let the guy out of your life.
All men are hunters by nature. They must pursue their goal, chase the trail, strain their own brains to predict the future actions of their chosen one. Quite often, the fireworks of feelings that have arisen in the soul of a guy are extinguished by the predictability and infantilism of a girl. With such ladies, men are bored, which is why the relationship gradually begins to fade away.
Do not become a "read book" for him, in which the ending is known from the first pages. Is a real book interesting for someone to read if everything is clear in advance? Keep intrigue in the plot of your relationship with him, be moderately unpredictable, indulge your chosen one with pleasant surprises. The main thing - know in this measure. Know how to surprise, but do not confuse your beloved. Men do not like unsolvable difficulties. From the too tangled labyrinths of passions they run, never to return there.
Form unifying traditions
Psychologists say that any love relationship must have some kind of hook to help hold it together. Unifying traditions can become such "hooks". Each couple can form them for themselves independently. For example, most young people choose some secret places that no one else knows about except them. It will be quite romantic to hide in such a place from the whole world and the people around you. Nothing unites like little common secrets, the celebration of the first kiss, the anniversary of the meeting, the first intimacy. It all supportsfond memories and strengthens relationships.
Keep in touch
A sure sign of a close parting is the termination of confidential conversations and communication. For her boyfriend, a girl should be not only an interesting person, but also a good friend. Therefore, try to become the person with whom your chosen one will talk literally about everything: about cars, movies, music, parents, friends. Freedom in communication is the main thing that can unite and make you show interest in your soulmate.
Learn to fight
Very rarely do relationships go without quarrels. Sooner or later, the couple may have some kind of disagreement. During quarrels, you should not remember the past mistakes of your beloved, especially those that he confidentially told you about. In no case should you speak badly about your boyfriend’s relatives or friends during quarrels. If you allow yourself to, you can pack your bags. Even if you make up, the guy will have a kind of marker in his soul, signaling to him that you are not the girl with whom he will be happy.
How to behave if there is a quarrel? Psychologists advise you to go outside, walk a little, calm down and think things through. Perhaps you will see the situation from a different angle, no longer so dramatic, and the reason for the quarrel will seem petty to you.
Lovely scold - only amuse. So says the wisdom of the people. However, this statement is relevant only in that you should not be afraid to express your opinion. At the same time, it is necessarylisten to the opinion of a loved one.
Some psychologists advise ladies to be pragmatic. You should determine what positive qualities you and your chosen one have, find out who likes and dislikes what, and then assign responsibilities. Many couples prefer to pre-determine some rules in the family. For example, how you will share your money expenses, how much you can borrow, how much money you will spend per month, what you should definitely buy together, where to go on vacation and much more.
Some couples hold so-called annual reports. At the same time, they discuss matters and decide what should be changed in the economy. Of course, it sounds trite, but this approach will really help to be aware of the needs and needs of a partner, and this will strengthen the relationship.
Remember the little things
A simple sign of attention, a compliment, support will mean a lot to your boyfriend. Many experts recommend that you continue to arrange dates, to go out somewhere together on the weekend, without fail to find time for sex. The fact is that physical intimacy can not only save relationships, but also help to improve them if something goes wrong.
This is very important if there are children in the family. You should not think that as a child you tied a man to you forever. He can easily find himself a dozen others who are ready to give him an heir.
Psychologists compare the relationship between a man and a woman withwaves on the sea. In this case, they represent emotions, ups and downs, mistakes and forgiveness. Many different external factors influence the strength and power of these waves: job loss, relocation, death of relatives, financial difficulties. So that a real storm does not start in your relationship that destroys everything around, be able to be a safe haven for your beloved, where he can recuperate, bring positive into his life, but at the same time always remain a little mysterious for him.