The wife does not want children: reasons, difficulties in family relationships and recommendations from psychologists

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Quite often in life there is a situation where a husband and wife have different views on the same problem. But it is extremely bad when opinions differ on the most important issues of life. For example, when the wife does not want children, and the husband longs for heirs. If there are valid reasons for refusing to give birth and what men should do in such situations, read below.

Irresponsibility

A woman may not be morally ready to be responsible for someone other than herself. Like it or not, it is the mother who will spend most of her time with the baby. And if a girl has a wind in her head, and she wants to take a walk with her friends, or a lady constantly goes to various social events, she will not be able to take responsibility for the baby. A woman perfectly understands this situation, but she is embarrassed to admit this to her husband. Indeed, at the age of 20, such an excuse sounds plausible, but at the age of 30, when a woman says thatnot ready to take responsibility for another living being, it looks somehow strange. However, this happens quite often. Basically, such problems are faced by women who have never been responsible for anything on their own. At work, they do not strive to realize their inner potential, but at home, the ladies were first looked after by their parents, and then by their husbands. It is difficult for girls to understand why to leave the comfort zone and somehow reshape a well-built life.

Fear of giving birth to the wrong man

Some women delay the birth of a child until they realize that a reliable man is next to them. If your wife does not want to have children, consider whether the woman trusts you. A girl who has recently married may adore her lawful spouse, but not trust him as a person. A child is a big responsibility, and giving birth to a child from the wrong person is a big mistake. In order not to make a mistake, many women look at their spouse for several years after the wedding and study the behavior of a man. If a guy in difficult situations gives in and throws off his problems on his wife, then the girl may refuse to give birth to such a person a child. The lady will be well aware that a man may want a child, but mentally he is not ready to take responsibility for a new person.

And it is not uncommon for a girl to marry a man just because all her friends have already found their soul mates, and she alone is left alone. In this position, ladies often make the mistake of getting engaged.with the first to propose a hand and a heart. It is clear that a woman will not have a desire to give birth to a child from such a rogue.

Desire to make a career

Why does the wife not want children? Some ladies want to fulfill themselves until the moment when they become a mother. Girls are well aware that on maternity leave, they will lose most of their knowledge and abilities. Catching up after thirty is much harder than building a career at twenty. Therefore, the ladies decide that first they will find their calling, realize their potential, and most importantly, find a place where they can return after the decree. Having adjusted their lives, the girls will be ready to give birth to a child. But for many young ladies, the process of self-realization is delayed. Not everyone manages to find a place under the sun in two or three years. Less fortunate individuals have to look for their path for five, or even ten years. During this time, any, even a very loving man, can get tired of waiting for an heir. The husband will consider that the wife has been too long in searching for herself, and she already has almost no chance not only to realize herself, but also to give birth to a child.

Psychological trauma

Some ladies understand that men want children from them. But the psychological traumas received in childhood do not give girls the opportunity to set themselves up for motherhood. If the wife does not want to have children, it means that she has a negative experience or bad memories. For example, a lady could already try to give birth to a child, but her child did not survive, or the lady hadmiscarriage. After such a failure, the girls recover for a long time. And not everyone can decide after the tragedy for another attempt.

If a girl had an unhappy childhood, then she will not want to become a mother. A woman will remember the disgust that her parents felt for her, and she will set herself up for the fact that she will also experience similar feelings for her own child. In this case, a woman needs to overcome her complexes. Doing it yourself is very difficult. It is much easier to get rid of internal problems with the help of an experienced psychologist.

The desire to live for yourself

You have a young wife? Then it is quite natural that the girl has not yet known life, and she wants to know better all the advantages that freedom from parents gives. The lady will enjoy trips, travels and outings with friends. Do not be surprised that the young lady has a wind in her head. She will want to take a walk, learn something and go somewhere. Family comfort will not even be in second or third place. The husband of such a girl will complain to his acquaintances: "The wife does not want children." But in such a situation, you should not blame the young lady. When the lady walks up, she will understand that the main thing in life is the family, and that the time has come to have an heir. But such an awareness comes to some girls at the age of 20, and to some at 35. Everything will depend on how much the lady has seen before she got married. If a girl lived under the strict supervision of her parents, did not go anywhere and saw very little in her life, then you should not think thatshe will enjoy this reclusive lifestyle in her new family.

Husband wants kids, wife doesn't

To a certain age in any normal person the desire to conceive heirs is formed. In an ideal situation, this desire arises in a family in which people live together, get along well with each other and love each other. But sometimes a situation arises that a woman is not yet ready for children, and her husband insists on becoming a father. The husband cannot openly put pressure on his wife, therefore, at the initial stage, he acts through persuasion. The man gives various arguments that a family can be considered complete only if it has a baby. If a woman refuses to listen to such speeches, the man is offended. But a smart woman does not refuse outright. She says that she is not ready now, but a year or two will pass, and she will definitely give birth to a child. In most cases, this strategy works flawlessly. It is worse when the wife is pregnant and does not want a child. In this case, a man should take his wife to a psychologist. If a man exerts psychological pressure on a woman who is in a position, then this will harm not only the girl, but also the child. Therefore, in such situations, you need to be extremely careful.

What should a husband do?

When the views of the spouses on the same problem diverge, you need to look for some kind of compromise. The wife does not want children - what to do? When a similar question arises, a man should first of all think about why his beloved woman does not want to give himheirs. First of all, the cause must be sought not in the missus, but in oneself. What should a man think about? Does he earn enough to provide for his family? Perhaps the young man has too little income, but the spouse is embarrassed to hint to her husband that with the advent of the child, the family will definitely grab money. Men who make good money should think about whether there is trust in the family. If there is no trust, then the wife will not want to have children. If everything in life is good, then you need to talk directly with your wife and find out the reason for her unwillingness to continue her race.

Divorce or wait?

Your wife doesn't want kids? Divorce is not the best solution to the problem. But a man should not wait forever. A young man must decide whether he just wants children or whether he wants them from his girlfriend. Just wanting kids is stupid. Yes, a man can divorce his beloved wife and remarry a girl who, like him, dreams of having offspring. But in such a situation, one cannot be selfish. Understand that children will be happy only when they see every day an example of an exemplary family in which mom and dad love each other. And if in a family parents love only children, such relationships can hardly be called harmonious. Therefore, this option is acceptable only in extreme cases. It is better to try by all means to convince your beloved wife to decide on a pregnancy.

Reluctance to have a second child

You already have onecute baby and you want another baby in your house, but your wife doesn't want kids? In such a situation, the husband needs to act in the same way as a competent psychologist. A man should find out for what reasons his missus refuses to become a mother again. Perhaps there were problems with the first birth, or perhaps the girl restored her figure for a long time after gaining too much in her first pregnancy. When you establish the reason why the wife does not want a second child, it will be easier for you to act. In no case do not try to take the onslaught. A woman will not be able to love a baby who was conceived without her desire.

Advice from a psychologist

What do experts say to men who are faced with the problem when the woman they love does not want to give birth to heirs?

• Find out why the wife does not want children and try to eliminate the reason.
• If a woman is afraid of becoming a bad mother, then you need to raise your faithful self-esteem by all possible methods.
• Was the woman having a difficult first birth or did she lose her baby during childbirth? In this case, the man himself will not be able to help his wife. It will be necessary to turn to an experienced psychologist to help the woman get out of her depression and believe in herself again.
• The lady has not walked up yet and is she not ready for children? Do not rush the girl, everything has its time. Let her take her time off and then think about her procreation.