Surrogate mother: what are the requirements for her, what are the rules for drawing up a contract

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Year after year passes in fruitless attempts to get pregnant, but doctors give a disappointing prognosis. When emotions find their way out, a balanced decision comes: it is necessary to find a “living incubator”, which will become a surrogate mother. Since then, a lot of questions have arisen. How to choose a woman who can bear and give birth to a he althy baby, how much does it cost, how to legally draw up documents and regulate the life of a future mother while she is carrying your baby? And this question has two sides. On the one hand, the personal life of the person you hired to provide the service, on the other hand, your concern for the he alth of the unborn child, which directly depends on what the surrogate mother eats, drinks and even sees and feels (experiences). Let's try to figure out all these issues together.

What is surrogacy

This is an assisted reproductive technology that uses three people to deliver a baby. This is the father who gives his sperm and consent to raise the future baby. This is a genetic mom who provides her egg and consent to take overmaternal responsibilities after his birth. The third person, the surrogate mother, ensures intrauterine development and the birth of a child. This is an adult woman of childbearing age who undertakes to bear a child for his genetic parents and does not claim him after birth. For this, she receives financial compensation.

How the legislation deals with this issue

Today, this reproductive technology is not prohibited in the post-Soviet space. That is, both potential parents and a surrogate mother can apply to a special clinic or legal agency, draw up an official contract that will regulate their relationship from the moment it is signed until the birth of the baby. The contract ends on the transfer of the newborn to its genetic parents and full financial compensation to the woman for all the inconveniences associated with pregnancy and childbirth.

Substitute mom or just a job?

It is believed that it will be very difficult for a woman who carried a child under her heart to part with him, because there is a close psychological connection between them. However, you need to think about it when the thought of how to become a surrogate mother just came to you. The surrogate mother has nothing to do with the baby genetically. Pregnancy begins with the IVF procedure, after which for nine months it is no different from the usual one. The only difference is that a woman is carrying someone else's child. She does not need to worry about the further upbringing of the baby, her function ends on the day of birth. Having received materialreward, she can return to normal life.

How to find a surrogate mother

This is the most difficult thing that a family will have to face, which, for various reasons, cannot have children. Imagine for yourself: a woman should be he althy, not have addictions and sexually transmitted diseases. It is very important that she be psychologically stable, pregnancy already leads to a hormonal surge and frequent mood swings, and your baby does not need an excited and nervous mother. Where will her pregnancy take place, what will she eat, how will her sexual and personal life, hygiene and regular visits to doctors be regulated? These are all complex questions that should be answered in detail during the drafting of the contract.

Many women have little idea how to become a surrogate mother, and make such a decision only because of financial problems. In this case, a consultation with a psychologist is required, who will help you understand yourself today and honestly answer the question of whether you are ready for such a step.

Where to look for a mother for the future baby

The first thing parents start to study is the Internet. Since such services are not prohibited by law, on various sites and forums you can find a large number of announcements, such as "I want to become a surrogate mother." Typically, such an ad indicates age, the presence of children, the absence of bad habits and external data. The latter is of practically no importance, except whenthe egg of a spouse who wants to have a child cannot be taken for physiological reasons. Then, with the consent of the surrogate mother, her egg is fertilized by the sperm of the male customer, and she genetically bears her child, undertaking to transfer it after birth to the married couple of customers.

However, based on the experience of many couples, it can be said that searching for candidates through ads takes a lot of effort and nerves, therefore, after making several calls, future parents most often turn to a specialized agency. Its employees undertake to provide you with a database of women, and here you will see not a banal announcement “I want to become a surrogate mother”, but detailed questionnaires with photos, a full medical examination of candidates and a specialist opinion, data on marital status and the presence of their own children. In addition, these women have already been interviewed, and they are fully aware of what services they are going to provide.

Choosing a mother for your baby

First of all, she should be nice to you. You will have to communicate closely for a long 9 months, perhaps even live under the same roof. And if you feel uncomfortable in her company, then it is better to look for another candidate. We are all different, wait for a woman with whom it will be easy for you to find a common language. Where to find a surrogate mother, we have already talked, now you need to choose from a number of applicants the one that will give life to your baby. Discuss with her all the details of the future contract. If there are nuances that you can't findcompromise (accommodation of the expectant mother, diet, physical activity), then you should talk to someone else. What should be included in the official document, which is drawn up between the parents and the "hired mother"?

Calculate the cost

Probably one of the most important questions for parents is how much the services of a surrogate mother cost. Typically, the agency can provide profiles of women with a variety of requests - ranging from 5 to 25 thousand dollars. It depends on age. Usually, young girls, students in need of money, or women over forty years of age charge a lower price. The price is also affected by the status of the woman, as well as her orientation towards the category of customers. But the average amount is $15,000. Add to this the payment for the services of the agency, as well as the clinic in which IVF and subsequent pregnancy will take place, the cost of feeding the pregnant woman, the necessary medical care and childbirth.

Official document

A contract with a surrogate mother must be drawn up under any conditions, even if these services are provided by your close relative. This is a guarantee of fulfillment of obligations by both parties. At the same time, the contract of one couple with a surrogate mother can be very different from another, it is important to take into account the interests of specific people, to regulate their relationship. In general, this document contains:

• Details of persons wishing to have a child.
• Details of a woman willing to provide surrogate services.
• Rights, duties and responsibilities of the parties.
• Conditions and measures in relation to the surrogate mother if she refuses to transfer the child to the customers, as well as if they refuse to accept it. This includes all possible options for the birth of a child with a disability.
• Other conditions that are achieved by agreement of the parties.

What requirements can genetic parents present to a future mother

The complete list must be compiled, discussed with the woman who will act as a surrogate mother, and also notarized. There are examples when a pregnant woman was literally kept locked up, letting out for a walk under supervision and forbidding her to see relatives and friends. Such conditions negatively affect the psychological state of the woman, and hence the unborn child. The requirements for a surrogate mother are already quite strict: they are between 25 and 35 years old, have at least one child born naturally, have no serious and chronic diseases, bad habits, mental disorders and drug addiction. In addition, if the woman is married, the husband's written consent will be required.

If a woman lives with her husband during pregnancy, then both of them must undergo regular medical examinations. The surrogate mother undertakes to limit contacts with relatives, especially potential carriers of various diseases (ARI, SARS, and others). An athlete or a homebody, the expectant mother will have to adjust the level of physical activity under the recommendations of the doctor leading the pregnancy. Genetic parents will also monitor her nutritionvery intently, while being more demanding than the average pregnant woman to herself.

If the substitute mother works

The age of a surrogate mother rarely exceeds 35 years, it is difficult for older candidates to find those who want to have offspring. This is due to the physiological characteristics of the female body: the older the mother, the more difficult the pregnancy can be. Although today this threshold is clearly underestimated, many women who are busy with a career begin to think about the family just closer to forty years. But one way or another, a substitute mother most often works, so this fact must be taken into account when drawing up a contract. Parents should be sure that she will have enough time for doctor visits and necessary examinations. Another important fact is the working conditions. They should not be harmful or heavy, carry a potential risk to the unborn baby. Otherwise, the expectant mother will have to quit. Such a requirement is most often made by parents, because they are already “employers” who will pay all expenses for the maintenance of a woman during pregnancy and issue compensation in the form of a lump sum salary.

Obligations and rights of a surrogate mother

If you decide to provide such services, the preparation will take a lot of time. First you need to find a reliable agency and place your profile there. Even before the conclusion of the contract, you will need to undergo a complete medical, psychological and psychiatric examination. All results, including medical genetic testing, a woman mustprovide to future parents. They also bear all the costs of the examination, unless the agency provides otherwise, that is, a preliminary examination at their own expense.

The consent of the surrogate mother when concluding a contract or agreement means that she:

• Ready to register early in pregnancy, up to 12 weeks.
• Be observed by a doctor and follow all his requirements and recommendations.
• Monitor your he alth and regularly report any changes in how you feel.
• Inform those who have entered into an agreement with her about the course of pregnancy.

The range of duties is not too wide, but this is just the generally accepted plan. Parents can include an item about the expectant mother living with them throughout the pregnancy so that they can personally control her nutrition, well-being and even social contacts.

End of pregnancy

The birth of a baby is a long-awaited event, which also means the end of the contract. Now the surrogate mother is obliged to transfer the child to genetic parents, after which she can receive full compensation for the pregnancy. The duties of parents also include the improvement of the woman within 56 days after childbirth. But what to do if maternal feelings have awakened, and the woman refuses to give up the newborn? This case should be spelled out in the contract with clearly defined consequences. The legislation of different countries regulates this issue in its own way. In Russian there are points, according towhich a woman who has given birth to a child has the right to keep him.

If the parents refuse to pick up the child

Such cases most often occur at the birth of a baby with a pathology, for example, if it occurs at the time of childbirth - trauma, injury. Or if the child has a defect that did not manifest itself in any way during intrauterine development. This clause should also be in the contract and provide for the responsibility of the parties. In this case, the parents are not en titled to demand from the surrogate mother the return of all funds spent on the examination and maintenance of the pregnancy, as well as the amount of remuneration. They must pay compensation in full, which is stipulated by the contract. In case of parents' refusal from the child, the surrogate mother retains the right to keep him or transfer him to the custody of the state. In the event of the transfer of a child to genetic parents, a woman forever loses her rights to him. The consent of the surrogate mother to this must be obtained at the time of drawing up the contract.

Birth certificate

Based on the current legislation, children born by surrogate mothers are recorded immediately in the name of their genetic parents. Since the signing of the contract, they have been them. At the same time, there is a subtle point: immediately after the birth, the woman must give written consent that the customer will be recorded as the mother. After that, she no longer has the rights to the baby, the newborn is not shown to her so as not to awaken her instincts. There are times when a family takes a former surrogate mother to work as a nanny. According to psychologists, parting with her at the moment,when the need for babysitting disappears, it will be a difficult test for the whole family.

This is another difficult moment, purely psychological. What is the surrogate mother going through? Feedback from women who provided such services speaks of a strong desire to keep the child for themselves, postpartum depression due to the inability to care for “their” baby. Add to this social condemnation, lack of support from relatives. And you will understand that a surrogate mother is not an easy choice. That is why it is very important to choose a woman who is not only physically he althy, but also psychologically stable, without a tendency to hysterical seizures and severe depression. You can include in the contract in advance a mandatory visit to a psychologist before making a decision (concluding an agreement) and undergoing psychotherapy after childbirth, so that this trauma is worked out and does not affect the woman's future life.

Today, the number of children born through surrogacy is growing. This is often the last and only option for a childless couple to find the joy of motherhood. For others, this is a way to earn money, pay for their children's education, and improve their living conditions. With a well-drafted contract, surrogacy has no risks for both parties, but for this you need to turn to professionals, and not try to draw up a contract on your own. Replacing motherhood is a chance for many couples to find the joy of being parents, and not of an adopted, but of their own, own baby. Children from surrogate mothers are blood relatives of their parents, they are simply bornanother woman.