2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21
Even the most convinced careerist over the years may have the idea that she wants to leave some trace behind herself, to love someone and take care of someone. In a word - the understanding that it is time to have a baby. However, a potential dad may simply not be ready for such a turn of events. How to act wisely in such a situation? What to do if the husband does not want children?
Fear of responsibility
Among the reasons why a husband does not want children, this is the most likely. Almost all teenagers in the midst of interest in the opposite sex are warned against rash acts, citing the fact that a child is an extremely big responsibility. Stories of relatives and friends like: “There, Zinka gave birth from the third entrance, her husband cannot feed his family. You have to ask your parents, but they are also not young … only add fuel to the fire. A man may not have anything against the idea of raising a baby, but fear that he is simply not ready for such responsibility.
Whatdo
Family psychologists in such a situation are advised to get a dog or other animal. A man will learn to take care of someone who is weaker, he will see the return. You can tell him about your childhood, about how your father took care of you in his time. You can visit acquaintances or friends who already have babies. Seeing his friend in the role of a satisfied dad, a man may realize that not everything is so scary.
Unsure of feelings for spouse
Here everything is somewhat more complicated and depends on the situation. It is very important to understand: the husband does not want children because he is ALREADY not sure of his feelings for you, or STILL.
What to do
In the first case, you most likely missed the right moment, and your lover has been looking "to the left" for a long time. If you got married recently, you should not rush things - probably, the man really wants to make sure that you are a reliable person who is worthy of raising his children. But to keep a husband with the help of a child is not worth it. First, it is better to resolve intra-family conflicts or even leave and look for new relationships - the baby should grow up in a strong and loving family.
Don't rush
It's not so important how old your spouse is: some are already psychologically ready for the appearance of a new family member at the age of 20, and for some it seems too early even at 40 … The essence of the problem lies in the fact that a man often perceives marriage not as a step into adulthood, to a completely new stage of it, but as another exciting adventure.
What to do
Developyour respect for your husband, and the next time he decides to extend the term (“Come on, maybe in a year or two?”), Agree with him, but immediately make it clear that you do not intend to wait any longer. By believing him, you will show that the word of your spouse is law for you. When a husband does not want children for this very reason, it is important to let him feel the inevitability of this step. But in no case do not oppress him with hints about age and that it is time to settle down - this will push him even more.
You need to get on your feet first
It is also possible that the husband does not want children, believing that this is fraught with new huge cash expenses that he is not able to pull out.
What to do
First, think about whether you yourself are demanding too much from him. Perhaps, with your requests of a cosmic scale for anything else, he does not have any money left at all. Make it clear that the child needs the love and care of their parents first and foremost, not Gucci sliders or platinum walkers.
Marriage of convenience
If, when getting married, a person is guided not by bright feelings, but by the bank account of the bride’s parents or herself, he will most likely be apathetic about the idea of having a baby (“If you want, go on, if you don’t want, don’t”).
What to do
If you are sure that you want a child from this person, he will not create any obstacles for you. However, get ready for the fact that all the worries and responsibilities will fall entirely on your fragile shoulders.
He alth problems
Only this reasonwhy the husband does not want a child can be called serious.
What to do
Let him know that you really want a baby, but only from him and nothing else. Call the man for a frank conversation, let him talk about his problems. Tell us a couple of examples (maybe a little embellished) when your friends and relatives were successfully cured of infertility. Remember that in more than 90% of cases, the work of a competent specialist will give the desired result, the main thing is to find a good doctor!
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