The guy does not propose: reasons, advice and recommendations from psychologists

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

From the first days of meeting, the girl begins to perceive her potential partner as a possible future husband. She contemplates how he will propose to her and how they will spend their lives together. However, it often happens that the relationship has been going on for several years, and the partner still does not plan to legitimize them. A man can talk about his feelings, confess his love and eternal fidelity, but for some reason he does not want to go down the aisle.

Of course, not every girl wants to ask him directly. However, it is very difficult to understand on your own why the partners have been living together for a long time, and the guy does not propose. The situation is complicated by pregnancy and other factors. At such moments, a woman finds herself in a very difficult position. She does not understand why, even with the most serious proof of the love of partners, the man still tries to get away from talking about the wedding.

On an intuitive level, it is impossible to understand why a guy does not propose. And I don't want to talk. What to do in this situation? It is best to consider all possible options and try to understand the true reasons for avoiding marriage by the chosen one. Psychologists identify several main reasons why men really fear marriage. Because of them, most often, male representatives prefer to refuse to legitimize relationships.

Fear

Some guys really want to legitimize the relationship and love their soul mate so much that they dream of spending their whole lives with her. However, unlike the fair sex, each guy takes this issue more seriously and believes that this is a step that is fraught with numerous problems. While a woman dreams of what a happy and rosy life awaits her with her beloved man, millions of doubts begin to overcome the guy. It becomes especially scary for those whose girls are in position. If the beloved is pregnant and the guy does not propose, then you need to understand that numerous thoughts are swarming in his head about how to raise a child and give happiness to his soulmate. Many are not ready for such a step and prefer to just break up with a girl, which some men later bitterly regret.

Besides this, a man is afraid that after marriage a woman will not change for the better and will begin to limit him in every possible way, behave inappropriately, resembling more a mother than a lover. Many believe that after a guy makes a marriage proposal, he forever turns into a silent slave who must indulge his chosen one in everything. From herethere are fears that a man may simply not be able to cope with such a family life.

Many men fear that after legitimizing relationships, numerous questions may arise regarding cleaning the apartment, making money, etc., the solution of which leads to quarrels, misunderstandings, and insults.

Don't want to be obligated

When relationships are at the stage of romantic dates and men return home alone in the evenings, they feel free. However, many of them understand that after marriage the situation will change and there will be many different household obligations.

Of course, the first time a woman will try to take full responsibility and do the basic household chores. Over time, her irritation will grow, and she will begin to demand help from a man. This very often explains the fact why a guy does not propose. After marriage, he automatically becomes obliged to provide his wife with a happy life and help in everything that she does. Of course, there are many families where the representatives of the stronger sex refuse these duties and feel quite happy. However, deep down everyone understands that marriage is a union of two people who must give themselves completely to their marriage.

No stability

This is another common reason why a guy doesn't want to propose. Any man understands that marriage is an obligation not only moral, but also financial. The next step after the wedding is to buyjoint apartment, its arrangement and preparation for the birth of a child. All this requires a certain material foundation, which a man may not have.

The representative of the stronger sex, perhaps, is simply afraid of the condemnation of others and the fact that he will not live up to the hopes of his beloved. While the guy is in the stage of the groom, he is not obliged to fully provide for his girlfriend and think about how and what his family will live on.

Therefore, some representatives of the stronger sex prefer to first build a career and save up the right amount of money, and only then lead their beloved down the aisle.

Not walking up

This often happens when relationships begin to develop quite early in adolescence. At first, it seems to a man that he loves his girlfriend more than anything in the world and is not ready to exchange her for anyone else. However, over the years, he begins to think that there are still a huge number of women around, but after marriage, he automatically “blocks his oxygen” and will no longer be able to appreciate the delights of a free life.

Deciding whether to propose to a guy is getting harder for him. Perhaps he will never commit adultery, but the very thought that he may not have fully enjoyed the wild life torments many men very much.

Eternal Bachelor

If a guy does not propose for a long time, then perhaps he belongs to this category of men. Such representatives of the stronger sex are so concentrated on their life and comfort that they are not ready to contribute even minimalchanges.

These guys are used to making decisions on their own, consulting with no one, to live in the conditions in which they are used to, and in the mode that they like best. A bachelor does not want to change his taste preferences or hobbies. If after work he is used to coming and watching movies, then it becomes a real disaster for him that he will have to abandon his routine.

Family relationships are not needed for such young people. However, if a guy does not propose and frankly admits that he does not need a wife, but just a girlfriend with whom you can have a good time, then girls will often lose interest in him. Therefore, bachelors prefer to come up with numerous excuses for their unwillingness to marry.

Negative attitude towards the wedding

Unfortunately, for men, marriage seems to be a cross between imprisonment and life with sharks. If a lady looks at a photo of a guy proposing to a girl, then such a picture touches her and evokes the most pleasant emotions. A man, on the other hand, sees in such a picture a prisoner who crossed out his life and now he will face hellish torments.

There are a huge number of jokes about husbands and wives related to the wedding and life after it. Some guys start convincing themselves so much that marriage is a terrible thing that it automatically becomes the truth for them. They begin to look at friends who have families and see how they stop spending time in the company of comrades. Therefore, some young people automaticallyI'm beginning to conclude that marriage is practically a punishment for sins.

Bad experience

Such a reason when a guy does not propose to a girl because of a bad experience in the past is very common. If a man has already been married once, and family life absolutely did not coincide with his fantasies, then he will go down the aisle with great apprehension next time. Perhaps in his life he met a lady who betrayed him or behaved in a completely inappropriate way. In such a situation, he will automatically expect the same behavior from the next passion. Therefore, if a guy does not propose, it is worth clarifying whether he had a sad experience in family life. Perhaps as a child he went through the divorce of his parents. It could also leave a negative imprint on his family life.

Parents' opinion

This situation is very common when it comes to young partners, and also if the man has we althy parents who manipulate him with a possible inheritance.

If the parents did not like the chosen one of their son, then they put him in a situation where he must rush between his family and his beloved. Very often, parents express their opinion in the form of an ultimatum and say that they will deprive their son of an inheritance or some other benefits if he still chooses an unpleasant lady. In this case, the man may refuse the wedding, not wanting to lose financial well-being.

Some guys are too attached to their parents. Their opinionso important to young people that it is easier to give up on a loved one than to argue with relatives.

Regardless of a guy's reasons for not proposing, every woman wants to know how to handle a situation like this and if something can be changed.

Straight Talk

Grandmothers, aunts and other elderly ladies, who by default are more experienced in family matters, are always advised not to ask a man directly in any case. However, psychologists recommend not to listen to such advice. The fact is that only a frank conversation and discussion of joint plans for the near future will help to somehow clarify the situation.

You need to understand that only women tend to hint to men in every possible way about the reason for their resentment or unwillingness to do this or that. Representatives of the stronger sex differ in this from the ladies. They will never write tearful statuses on social networks or hint to their beloved about their preferences. Guys prefer to talk about everything openly. They will only answer questions if they ask them directly.

During the conversation, it is worth explaining to the partner that marriage is the next stage in the development of relationships. A ring on a finger will not change the lives of spouses who already know each other very well. It must also be remembered that if the lovers decide to have a child, then the man will be forced to face numerous problems during paperwork, enrolling the baby in school and other legal procedures. Exceptmoreover, the status of a man in relation to a child will not be understood.

Fear of loss

If a man is not ready for a serious step, you can try to spur him on. If a woman creates the illusion that she has lost interest in him, and the relationship is completely on the verge, then the man will try to do everything to bind his beloved to himself. In this case, he will forget about fears, and the imposed idea that married life is fraught with torment will disappear by itself.

However, the situation can turn out in another way. If a guy is not confident or weak-willed, then he will regard the lady’s behavior as a signal that her feelings have completely cooled down. In such a situation, he can simply retreat.

Take the lead

This method is suitable for courageous women who are ready for the fact that events may not develop according to plan. If a man himself delays with a marriage proposal, you should try to take this step yourself.

By the way, in Europe there is an official tradition according to which a woman herself can propose to her partner on February 29th. The guy on this day has no right to refuse. If you beat this fun tradition in a playful way, you can get an excellent result.