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Quarrels in relationships: how to avoid conflicts, ways to reconcile
Quarrels in relationships: how to avoid conflicts, ways to reconcile
Anonim

Constant quarrels in a relationship are the cause of suffering for both parties in a couple. Quite often, at the same time, the thought appears for each of the chosen ones to give up everything in order to finish it all at last. But there is no point in changing the boat if you do not know how to handle the oars. In this article, you will learn how you can avoid conflicts and quarrels in relationships, making your own life more rosy. However, first you need to understand the reasons for the emergence of such disagreements.

Reasons for quarrels in relationships

There are many different reasons that can provoke conflicts in your love affairs. The most common ones that provoke quarrels in a relationship, we will consider below.

how to avoid a fight

Inflated expectations

Quite often, one of the partners in a love relationship believes that later he will be able to cope with the shortcomings of his chosen one. But after unsuccessfulattempts to do this begin to greatly strain both, provoking constant quarrels in the relationship. Sometimes it's just enough to accept your person for who he really is, and also stop changing him all the time. A person is not an object or a toy, sometimes it is especially difficult to change his behavior and habits. Therefore, if you have quarrels at the beginning of a relationship due to some kind of misbehavior of your chosen one, next time you just need to take into account that this is a common character trait.

Tired of my soulmate

People get tired of each other when they spend too much time together. In this case, all interesting topics begin to be reduced to a minimum, a large number of disagreements, irritation, and also a lot of silence appear in private with each other. Therefore, if you are wondering how to avoid quarrels in a relationship, then psychologists sometimes recommend just relaxing from each other, at least in different rooms.

Jealousy

Jealousy is a very familiar feeling for almost everyone. In most cases, the first quarrel in a relationship appears because of this particular feeling. Everything seems very suspicious to a jealous person: the chosen one returns home from work for a long time, the girl dresses in too revealing outfits, they call from some unfamiliar numbers. In many cases, the greatest openness with your person, as well as the exclusion of those moments that can irritate another, allows you to eradicate this problem.To avoid frequent quarrels in relationships due to jealousy, you should stop communicating with people of the opposite sex. You can also call back unknown numbers together. On the way home, you can talk on the phone if the chosen one or the chosen one is late.

frequent fights in relationships

Stress

Another possible reason for quarrels in a relationship is stress, which can occur due to blockage at work, poor he alth, misunderstandings with parents, lack of sleep or fatigue. In these cases, there is a very unfounded criticism, as well as a sharper reaction to what is happening around. Living with such a person, you just need to be patient, after which you can take action, for example, send your chosen one or chosen one for treatment, have more time to relax, help with household chores.

The influence of other people

Another possible reason why fights happen in a relationship is the influence of other people. In some cases, people around you, for example, girlfriends, criticize your choice, so they constantly try to open your eyes to what is happening. Despite the fact that you begin to defend your chosen one, you still unconsciously pay attention to what they said. As a result of all this, irritation and frequent conflicts arise. This can be avoided by forbidding discussion of your partner among friends or minimizing communication with such unpleasant people.

fights at the beginning of a relationship

How to fix the situation

Many psychologists say that frequent quarrelsare the norm in relationships. This means that people are not indifferent to each other. But if the partner still stayed with you, despite all the systematic conflicts, then this already says a lot. But how to fix the current situation and stop the constant quarrels in your relationship?

Don't stir up the past

If you've tried this before, you've probably noticed how overreacting to moments that are related to the past. Although earlier you lived without thinking about anything. Therefore, it is worth forgetting about everything that was before the appearance of you, and not being interested in it, without provoking jealousy and other headaches. If a person is already with you, then nothing more is needed for complete happiness.

Don't leave questions unresolved

Some people think that sometimes it's better to just end the quarrel by ending it with a nod or silence. Indeed, this can be done, and life will be much calmer. But this applies only to those cases when you will no longer return to these situations. If you want to exclude similar actions from your partner later, it is best to talk to him about the problem. At the same time, everything should be done correctly. You need to tell what specifically made you nervous. Then ask if possible not to do so again. You can suggest an alternative so that this action no longer causes you negative emotions.

constant fights in relationships

Nobody owes anything

Remember that you don't owe anyone, but nobody owes you anything eithershould not. You are an accomplished person with legs, arms and brains. Even your parents will never owe you anything. This must be taken for granted. When a person helps you, it's good, but if not, then you shouldn't insist. We should also not forget about the elementary rules of ethics, using the word “please” more often.

We need to lower the bar of demands and expectations

Very often the cause of conflicts and quarrels in relationships is that one of the partners demands too much from the other, while the second cannot give him everything he needs. In this case, it is necessary to remember once again that there are no ideal people in the world. Therefore, there is no need to strive to remake a person for one with whom it would be convenient for you to live. This is the lot of selfish people.

Don't stop accepting each other

Let's consider examples of how a person's worldview changes over time:

  1. When a guy is the soul of the company. He knows many jokes, he is always in high spirits, able to support any conversation. For all girls, at first, such a guy is a charismatic and attractive young man who does not reveal his own problems in public. When a couple lives together for a long time, capricious girls begin to perceive such behavior as carelessness and show off, which are expressed in the fact that the partner does not care about absolutely everything. As a result of all this, the girl begins to get annoyed, constantly provoking quarrels in the relationship.
  2. A girl can fight back, sheedgy and bright. This quality attracts guys, they consider this trait special. But after a few years of marriage, such girls become bitches for men.
relationship problems

Based on these examples, we can conclude that you should periodically return to the feelings and sensations that you had earlier, when the relationship was just emerging - at that time, these shortcomings were virtues.

Fight right

What does each of the interlocutors do when a quarrel starts between them? Of course, everyone is trying to defend their case. And this is not happening in the most benevolent way. This conversation almost never leads to anything good. There are ways to make a quarrel or conflict more fruitful. For this you need:

  1. Speak as calmly as possible.
  2. If you notice that your chosen one is in the midst of emotions, then you should say that you are not going to talk to him in a similar tone, it is best to wait until both calm down.
  3. You should not prove your own opinion, you need to voice it, and then back it up with arguments and facts.
  4. Partner should not be interrupted, as in most cases it is only annoying, which provokes a bad reaction.
  5. Better to keep quiet than to offend your interlocutor and yell at him.

Control words

If you like to get excited and say a lot of nasty things during a quarrel with your boyfriend or girlfriend, then you should not be surprised that the relationship will soontime will start to deteriorate. No matter how you deny after that that it was all said from evil, your chosen one or chosen one will remember all these offensive statements for a long time. Often after this there is a cooling of feelings for a person, because everyone wants to be idolized, but in no case be humiliated.

causes of conflict in relationships

Know how to forgive

This is very important, because in most cases this is where the dog is buried. You have to look at yourself from the outside. Pay attention to how you communicate with your loved one. Would you like it if someone spoke to you the same way? It is not certain that the answers to these questions will satisfy you.

You need to be softer, because no one likes it when claims are made during a conversation, direct criticism.

But if something does not suit you, then you must either put up with it, or try to act cunningly. Consider a few examples:

  1. If your chosen one stopped caring for herself, then she needs to be told how beautiful she was before, especially in a particular outfit or with a particular hairstyle. And when she does a little magic on herself, you can admire her amazing appearance, make a lot of compliments.
  2. The same applies to men: not everyone considers it normal to help his wife around the house. But you can involve him in this as well. When you roll out the dough for making dumplings, you can ask your chosen one to help with this. The request should be based on what you haveit turns out badly, and it’s a little hard for you, but your beloved, strong and handy, will definitely be able to make perfect dumplings.
couple at sunset

In conclusion, it is worth noting that before putting your things in a suitcase after a quarrel, you should think about whether you will actually feel good without your man. Ask yourself if the cause of the conflict is so weighty.

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