Temperature in a child: causes, correct reaction of parents, advice from a psychologist

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Baby screaming loudly, falling to the floor, writhing, kicking, as if something unimaginable had happened. Although you just refused to buy him a hundred and fifth car in the store. According to opinion polls, 90% of parents face tantrums in a child. Their peak is at the age of 1.5-3 years. Most moms and dads get lost at such moments, don't know what to do, and make fatal mistakes.

How the tantrum flows

Psychologists claim that a hysterical attack occurs in children involuntarily due to strong emotional arousal. A small child does not know how to express his feelings in words. He does not understand what is happening to him. Emotions overwhelm him, and now he is already rolling on the floor, hitting his head against objects, scratching himself and those around him, completely "disconnecting" from the surrounding reality. In severe cases, convulsive reactions occur (the so-called hysterical bridge).

Seizures in young children usually proceed as follows:script:

1. The child non-verbally shows his displeasure: whimpers, grunts, sniffles, defiantly refuses to engage in dialogue. At this stage, the tantrum can be stopped by distracting the baby.
2. The baby begins to yell loudly, often frightening others. At the same time, the child no longer hears the adult, scolding or explaining something to him is useless.
3. Baby falls to the floor, stomps his feet, throws things. At the same time, he does not feel pain, and can injure himself or another person.
4. After the "concert" the children are exhausted, they seek solace from their parents, many fall asleep. This is natural - a strong emotional shock drains them.

Temperature in a child at 2 years old is a natural phenomenon. At this time, the baby's nervous system is imperfect. He does not know how to control his feelings, to calm down on his own. It is especially difficult for parents of restless, anxious children who have frequent mood swings. A hyperactive child also brings a lot of problems. His impulsiveness and excitability leads to frequent tantrums, which are often accompanied by aggressive antics.

Looking for a reason

Many parents complain that a tantrum in a child at 2 years old occurs "from scratch". It's a delusion. The kid is naughty only when he feels bad. Moreover, it is still impossible to express your state in words, so you have to resort to more visual methods. Often the reason is a conflict with mom or dad. Here are typical "triggers" for children'swhims:

• The child has something in pain, and he is trying to convey it to you with his cry.
• The baby is overtired, wants to eat or sleep. An eventful day, a broken routine, a visit to visit - all this can provoke whims.
• Parents refuse to fulfill the child's wish, which causes protest.
• The baby is pulled away from an exciting activity, forcing to go home, sit down to eat or go to bed.
• The crumbs can't do something on their own: the puzzle doesn't add up, the shoelaces don't tie.
• The kid realized that the tantrum is the best way to attract attention, since the parents do not react to his other actions.

Often the causes of tantrums in children are associated with changes in the family: admission to kindergarten, the birth of a brother or sister, divorce of mom and dad, their frequent quarrels. The child is in constant tension and fear, which spills out during uncontrolled seizures.

The most striking manifestation of negative emotions is observed in three-year-olds. At this time, they are experiencing a crisis period associated with awareness of themselves as a separate person. Through whims and tantrums, the children are trying to assert themselves, to defend their interests. They also feel for the boundaries of what is permitted, check what and how "impossible", whether it is possible to somehow influence parental prohibitions.

With the right behavior of adults, tantrums are rare and stop by the age of 4. But if the kid understands that adults can be manipulated with their help,this behavior will become a habit.

Mistakes of parents

Psychologists agree that constant tantrums in a child are associated with the wrong reaction of adults. Indeed, it is difficult to maintain composure when a beloved child squeals and beats his head against the wall. We list the most common mistakes:

• Indulging whims. If, after crying and rolling on the floor, the grandmother agreed to buy the ill-fated chocolate bar, the next "concert" will not be long in coming.
• Screaming and cursing. The hysterical notes in the mother's voice will only spur the hyperactive child. Children tend to copy the behavior of their parents. When adults allow themselves to lose their temper, it's hard to expect anything else from a baby.
• Assault. By spanking a baby, you simultaneously sign your impotence. The hysteria will only get worse after that. Your child will not calm down because you gave him a cuff. In addition, it undermines the credibility of you, becomes the cause of reciprocal aggressive behavior.
• Affectionate tone, attempts to calm the baby. The tantrum is intended for the viewer and will continue as long as you emotionally react to it.
• Threats that are not carried out. They promised to throw away the sweets that make the baby roar - do it. Otherwise, the child will understand that you are just scaring him, and will not pay attention to empty words.
• Double standards. When dad forbade eating cakes, and mom slips them in secret, the child stops responding to the word "no". He concludes that you can get what you want with a little effort.

Prevention of tantrums

It is much easier to prevent whims than to deal with their consequences later. What can be done to make tantrums in a child happen as rarely as possible? Stick to the following rules:

• Clear daily routine. Make sure your baby eats and goes to bed on time. Don't expect your child to adjust to a changing schedule.
• Rituals. Children love repetitive activities. They cause strong affection and positive emotions. If your child has tantrums before bedtime, develop a bedtime ritual: a warm bath with oregano, a relaxing massage, heated milk, a good fairy tale, a favorite bear by your side, and a funny night light. Soon the baby will get used to this order and will fall asleep without problems.
• Limit your TV viewing. Doctors believe that children under the age of 3 should not watch cartoons and play computer games. Such activities not only spoil vision, but also lead to overexcitation of the nervous system.
• Calm atmosphere. Do not shout at the baby, do not make him a witness to family quarrels. If adults do not know how to manage their emotions, they are unlikely to teach this to their children.
• Preparing for change. If cardinal changes are coming in your baby's life, tell him about it, read a few adaptation fairy tales, promise support and give him time to get used to the new conditions.
• A clear system of prohibitions. The child must know the limits of what is permitted. They must not be changed under any circumstances. Parents should be of the same mind about this.question. However, there should not be too many restrictions and they should be reasonable.
• Let your baby be independent. Let him help you wash the dishes, do the buttons himself, although this will take longer.
• Let's choose. No need to ask if the child will have breakfast. Better specify what to impose on him: porridge or cottage cheese?
• Make time. Being capricious, the child draws attention to himself. Swearing for a baby is much better than complete indifference. Therefore, give your baby your love when he is in a good mood. Hug him, play together, do crafts, praise him for his success.

How to stop a tantrum on the way?

Despite all the efforts, sooner or later you will encounter inappropriate behavior of the baby. The main thing in such a situation is not to be taken by surprise. How to respond to a child's tantrums so that they do not become the norm? At the initial stages, you can try to distract the child, switch his attention to another activity. The main thing is to stay calm.

Show hardness. If you have banned something - do not change your decision. But offer an alternative. In no case should you draw on the wall, but you can attach a piece of drawing paper to it and create your own masterpieces on it. If you are in a hurry to the clinic, and the child refuses to go out without a bicycle, say that the bicycle is sick. He needs to sleep. But a bear or a bunny will gladly go to the clinic with you. Who will he choose?

To get baby's attention, squat down, trycatch a look. Voice his emotions: "Now you are angry because you want to sleep. Let's stomp with you to stop being angry. Can you stomp even louder?" Be kind, hug the child, offer to vent aggression by kicking a ball or throwing a soft toy. Take a one-year-old baby in your arms, turn on a calm melody, turn off the light, speak to him in a singsong voice. You can watch passers-by through the window, find a hidden bird.

As soon as the child makes contact and calms down a bit, give any order (find a toy with which to bathe, bring mom a phone). You can immediately call someone close and praise the baby for coping with his emotions.

If the tantrum started…

It is not always possible to prevent tears and demonstrative rolling on the carpet. It is useless to appeal to logic, to try to agree when a child has a tantrum. What should parents do? Swear? Threaten? Comfort? Stand by and watch? Go to another room?

Let's get acquainted with the advice of psychologists. A child's temper tantrum will pass faster if you follow these rules:

• Keep calm. The best way out is zero reaction. The kid will understand that adults do not respond to his cry, and stop using this ineffective remedy. Aggression or pity, on the contrary, will only exacerbate the problem. To cope with your own emotions, try to shift your attention to your breathing, bodily sensations. Imagine that you have grown in size, and the screaming child has becometiny, the size of a pinhead.
• Don't change your mind. If something is forbidden, insist on your own. Children need clear boundaries, permissiveness leads to dangerous consequences.
• React the same to every tantrum. It is good if all family members adhere to this rule. Otherwise, remove especially nervous adults from the room or send them for a walk. The more viewers, the longer the tantrum lasts.
• If the offspring rolls on the floor, throws objects, scratches, do not bring the matter to injury. Apply the holding technique. It lies in the fact that the mother takes the child in her arms facing her, hugs tightly, even if he breaks out. You need to hold the baby until he looks into your eyes. Do everything silently, without unnecessary emotions.
• If there is no danger of injury, just be there without interfering or talking. You can pretend that you are examining the contents of a cell phone. Most psychologists do not recommend leaving a child alone in this state. After all, he is now experiencing serious suffering. When the adults leave, it seems to the baby that he is mortally tired of mom and dad, so they left him to the mercy of fate.
• As soon as the fit of rage subsides, you need to feel sorry for the baby, take it in your arms, caress, but in no case promise gifts or privileges. Often children feel weak after a strong tantrum, give them the opportunity to eat or sleep.
• Don't scold the baby. It is useless to find out from him the reasons for such behavior, he himself is not fully aware of them. Explain what came to him"snarky", so he screamed and threw things. Reading special fairy tales, playing out the situation on the example of toys will help to understand the emotions experienced. Teach your child to control his feelings: have him show you his tongue or raise his hand when he feels the approach of the "heat" next time. Practice together.

Doctor Komarovsky's advice

Psychologists are sure that children do not control themselves during a hysterical attack. Another point of view is shared by the famous pediatrician E. Komarovsky. Tantrums in a child, in his opinion, are caused arbitrarily and are always directed at the chosen viewer. If the mother is not sensitive to the cries of the crumbs, he will behave perfectly with her. But a nervous dad will witness endless whims.

You can only deal with the problem by showing your complete indifference to tears and stomping your feet. Each member of the family will have to do this. If someone (most often a grandmother) gives up, it will be his child who will be used for further manipulations.

It is better to wean the baby from tantrums at the age of 1-2 years. The doctor recommends that the screaming baby be left in the arena. At the same time, adults leave the room, and return only after the crying has stopped. If their appearance causes a new stream of tears, you need to leave again. Two days is enough to develop a stable reflex: "Mom is nearby if I don't scream."

It is more difficult with older children, because they are already accustomed to achieving what they want in this way. How to calm a child with a tantrum? EvgeniyKomarovsky makes the following recommendations:

• Teach your baby to express his feelings with words.
• Don't worry about a capricious child, it's better to send him to kindergarten. Caregivers tend to be less impressionable than parents.
• Avoid "dangerous" situations in which the baby begins to throw tantrums (fatigue, hunger, excessive haste).
• As soon as the whimpering begins, the baby should be distracted.
• If your baby holds his breath while crying, don't be alarmed. Blow in his face and he will reflexively inhale air.
• Don't let the kid win. Tantrums in children 4-5 years old are almost always the result of improper upbringing. From little manipulators, over time, completely uncontrollable teenagers grow up who do not take into account the opinions of the people around them.

Public tantrum

When a child yells and stamps his feet in a store, on a playground, his behavior is designed for numerous spectators. There will definitely be a compassionate grandmother who will shame the "unlucky" mother. How to stop a tantrum in a child when there are a lot of strangers around, and they all look at you with condemnation?

For parents, this is the most difficult situation. Someone goes on about the capricious, provoking new tantrums. Others scare the child with a “babayka”, pretend to leave. All this is unacceptable, as it gives rise to fears, anxiety, and uncertainty in the soul of the baby. As difficult as it may be, parents must remain calm. It's best when a child has a tantrum,pick him up and take him to a secluded place. There you will be able to control yourself, and the baby will calm down faster without a large support group.

Kid tantrums in kindergarten

Adaptation to preschool is painful for many kids. Tantrums in a child in kindergarten occur both during parting with parents and later. Their reasons can be very diverse: a strong attachment to the mother, feeling unwell, an unusual environment, a strict teacher, a conflict with other children.

To make it easier for a child to adjust, parents can:

• To teach the baby to dress, wash, eat on their own. Then he won't be angry that other kids get to put on pantyhose and he can't.
• Play more often with other kids on the playground, teach the baby to get to know them, share toys, resolve conflicts.
• Cook the same meals at home that are prepared in the kindergarten, switch to the same daily routine.
• First take the child for an evening walk so that he can see how mothers come for the children.
• Give with you a toy from home, your thing "to save". This makes it easier for the child to get over the breakup.
• Come up with a farewell ritual: pick up, sing a song, kiss the baby, wish a fun day and only then leave.
• Do not panic when the baby clings to the coat, do not run away unnoticed, do not drag out the unpleasant process. The calmer the parent and the friendlier the caregiver at parting, the fastertantrums will pass.
• Don't be late, come for the child exactly at the promised time.
• Do not undermine the authority of the educator. It is unlikely that the baby will agree to stay with the "bad" aunt the next day.

Going to the doctor

If you are working on a solution to a problem and the tantrums are getting worse, you may need the help of specialists. Visit a neurologist in the following cases:

• tantrums in a child are unreasonable, over time they become more frequent, becoming more aggressive;
• baby tries to hurt adults, peers or himself;
• seizures are accompanied by fainting, breath holding;
• nausea, shortness of breath, severe weakness after an attack;
• tantrums begin at night, accompanied by terrible nightmares, screams, somnambulism;
• your offspring is already 5 years old, but he has seizures regularly.

Tantrums in a child can be caused by a disease of the nervous system, but most often they are the result of improper upbringing. Do not be afraid of children's tears and aggression. The calmer and more patient the parents, the faster the problem is solved. Learn to control your emotions, and the baby will take an example from you.