Child's love for parents

2024 Author: Priscilla Miln | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 00:21

Love, like a heartfelt affection, arises throughout life for different people. But it is believed that there is nothing stronger than a mother's feelings for her baby. This is not true. There is something more infallible – the love of a child. Trusting adoration and faith in the perfection of parents, represented by demigods, who warm, feed, help overcome difficulties. How is this feeling formed, and what transformations does it undergo during life?

A mother in a child's life

A woman wakes up maternal instinct immediately after the birth of a baby. But paternal love is formed gradually. It becomes the strongest when there is an opportunity to transfer skills, to teach something. Mother from an early age spends more time with the baby, breastfeeds, shows care and affection. Therefore, from the first days, the love of a child for his mother grows out of a relationship of dependence and an inextricable bond. Communication with her newborn is so important for his development that deprivation of contact onup to three months can lead to irreversible mental retardation.

Attitude towards the father as the person who gave life is formed by the mother. It is she who broadcasts how to treat him, what is his role in the life of the baby, what he is. In fact, the woman becomes an intermediary between the child and the father. The feelings of the baby to the parent largely depend on her efforts and desire to give a full-fledged upbringing to the newborn.

A child's love is a desire to imitate

By the beginning of the formation of consciousness (3 years), children are affirmed in the opinion that the best people on earth are mom and dad. They have real tenderness for their parents. It manifests itself in countless compliments, defending the position in the courtyard that they are the kindest, most beautiful, caring, and also in the desire to become the same. At two years old, the child grabs the brush, but does it for the sake of interest in an unusual object. Already at three, the girl tries to sweep to be like her mother. She puts on her dress, turns in it in front of the mirror, repeats her habits.

The boy strives to be like his father, realizing his gender. Admiring him, he duplicates mannerisms, behavior, even appearance. Demanding the same haircut, comparing hair color, jealously listening to the conversations of adults about how much the son looks like his father. It represents the future profession approved by the parent. He adopts skills with pleasure, observes his attitude towards other people, women, mothers.

Romantic attachment

At the same age a boybegins to experience the romantic adoration of the mother, and the girl - the father. The love of children for their parents resembles the relationship of adults. If earlier they were dependent on them, now mom and dad have become a model of femininity and masculinity. The kid does not represent another woman next to him. After all, his mother is the most beautiful and kind. At the age of four, he is even able to make a marriage proposal to his main woman. Poorly imagining the purpose of marriage, he can be jealous of his own father, who takes away his mother's attention from him. Such an erotic relationship was described by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud as an Oedipus complex.

On an unconscious level in later life, the boy will choose a woman who resembles his own mother. And the girl is a father, to whom she begins to feel possessive. The desire to take care of him is so strong that she is able to advise her mother to go somewhere for a while in order to be able to surround him with attention. A similar relationship is described as the Electra complex. The romantic love of children for their parents fades over the years, preparing for the formation of new feelings for future wives and husbands.

Equally Divided

The baby always perceives mother and father as an inseparable whole. A child's love for their parents is the same, no matter what behavior they are actually shown. Conflicting with each other, spouses often try to prove that the baby's attachment to them is stronger, putting a son or daughter in a difficult position of choice, which they often cannot do. If they don'twere exposed to obvious violence from one of the parents, experiencing fear and rejection, then the requirement of preference forms a feeling of guilt either towards the father or towards the mother.

This proves that a child's love is more perfect than a parent's. At an early stage, he does not need any benefits and advantages. He does not evaluate the time devoted to this or that parent - it does not matter to him who played with him more and who less. He perceives his mother and father as part of himself, therefore he fulfills the mission of their reconciliation at any cost, sometimes quite ill.

Love in spite of

Children's attachment to parents is strong on a subconscious level. And it is explained by the fact that mother and father gave life. This feeling is selfless. It is liberated from desires, and therefore the most pure and real. But a good picture of the world for children exists only as long as there is harmony in their relationship with their parents. Its destruction is the neglect of parental responsibilities by adults. But even such a shock (beatings, alcoholism, self-withdrawal from raising children) is not capable of killing the love of a child.

There are many examples when children run away from orphanages to unlucky parents to take care of them, convince them to be treated, earn money for their needs. They believe to the last in their drunken tears, without judging, no matter what they do. This is correct according to God's laws, which says: "Honor your father and mother." Condemnation of parents is the sin associated with denying God.

Parentalboomerang

As children grow older, children's unconditional trust in the world of adults is lost. Faced with lies, injustice, misunderstanding on the part of parents, the child begins to doubt the sincerity of feelings for himself. He is looking for confirmation of the manifestation of love in the actions of adults. While they get used to focus more on words. A child's love for parents in adolescence is a reflection of the feelings that he receives from them. In psychology, this is called the boomerang effect.

A school conflict in which parents supported the teacher without understanding the situation to the end, rejection of friends, interests, opinions of the child - everything can cause insecurity in their love. A teenager begins to provoke situations to obtain confirmation of the need for his own father and mother: from imitation of the disease to running away from home.

Elderly parents

Some in old age are surrounded by attention and care, becoming the center of a large multigenerational family. Others are abandoned and forgotten in life, forced to spend time alone. The different attitude of children to elderly parents lies in the plane of education. A child's love for mom and dad, a bright and pure feeling given from birth, is lost over the years for many reasons, the main ones of which are:

• lack of a positive example of attitude towards the older generation by the parents themselves;
• boomerang effect;
• Lifelong overprotection.

Whatever happens, communication with elderly parents is necessary not only as a token of gratitude forgifted life, but also as an example to their own children, whose respect everyone will need in old age.